


I’m Here

by iL0Vsuperman



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adult Consent, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Dreams, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamscapes, Dreamsharing, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, M/M, No underage, Soulmates, Soulmates-Shared Dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-12-17 06:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21049925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iL0Vsuperman/pseuds/iL0Vsuperman
Summary: In a world where soulmates shared their dreams as they slept, Steve never shared a single dream with his soulmate. He died when his plane crashed into the Arctic, never meeting the person fated as his other half.But that was not the true tragedy.Because he somehow was able to dream with his soulmate, years later, despite being dead.It was both a blessing and a curse. He could not be there for Tony in the living world but he was there for Tony in their dreams.But...He couldn’t be there for him when Tony's parents died, when he was kidnapped, nor when he almost died. He loved the man his soulmate became, but…he couldn’t be with him in the awake and living world because he was dead…Or so he thought...





	1. Once Upon a Dream

Steve closed his eyes right before the impact. It was jarring but nothing like he expected because he felt _all_ of his bones vibrate and shake right down to the roots of his teeth.

And then it was only a cold, cold darkness.

Eons seemed to pass with Steve stuck in this state. All he could think, feel, and breathe was cold.

But then something amazing happened.

One day, his world was amassed in bright, brilliant colors. At first, it was only pinks and reds, but soon other colors joined the spectrum, bleeding into the world like the progression of a sunset: purple, blue, green, and the such. He'd experience this new world only in increments and would return to the cold darkness like clockwork. The hours of color became days to him and the time of the dark cold were his dreary nights.

His thoughts and reasoning came back to him in this world of color. It was enough of a distraction to remind him there was more than just cold.

At first he thought it was heaven.

It only took him a few days to realize he was finally dreaming with his soulmate.

Before this, he'd gone his entire life without a single dream. He’d grown up wondering if he’d ever gain a soulmate and be able to dream with that person or forever be a part of that faction that never dreamed.

Steve felt blessed and crushed all at once.

Because, Steve clearly did not survive his plane crash.

Soulmates shared dreams so the world of color was obviously when his soulmate dreamed. Steve did not exist beyond these dreams. Between the dreams, his life was only darkness similar to the dreamless nights he’d have before the crash. In a fluke of nature, he'd somehow connected with his soulmate despite his death.

He mourned for his loss. His melancholy was so great that it affected the dream. The brilliant bright colors darkened in the dreamscape and he could hear the faintest of whimpers permeate the air.

His soulmate was still a baby. The undefined world clearly reflected a mind unable to grasp more than the basics to life. So Steve wiped away his tears and whispered, “Shhhh, it's alright. I'm here. I promise I'll stay with you as long as I am able. I will be there for you. Please, don't cry. I’m here. You're not alone…”

The whimpering dwindled to a stop and Steve sighed gently to himself. He didn't know how long he had with his soulmate but right there and then he swore to himself he’d make every day special. 

\---

Steve's soulmate did not become self-aware until he was a tiny toddler.

“Well, hello there,” Steve greeted the little boy in happy robot pajamas. The boy gargled at him and laughed, waving his arms to be picked up. Steve did just that and smiled warmly at his soulmate. The little boy excitedly slapped at Steve’s face, gurgling madly and making noises analogous to words…or maybe they were words but Steve couldn’t decipher them. He wasn’t too sure when babies started talking.

Before that moment, his soulmate’s dreamscape was only colors, random objects (mostly toys), random noises, or flashes of images that had to be memories (a warmly smiling woman, a large male figure tucking him in).

Steve had never seen him physically until he just suddenly appeared.

He wasn’t a young baby anymore but had to be one or two-years-old.

Steve could barely understand the boy in his arms, but he knew he was trying to talk to Steve.

“I wish you could tell me your name,” Steve murmured to the little boy. He sighed and lightly pressed his forehead to his mate’s and whispered, “I wish I could be living again and find you…”

They’d have a huge age difference, but Steve wouldn’t have minded...though his mate’s parents may have. Steve smirked sadly to himself. Not only did they have an age difference but they were both male. Both were social stigmas, not what the PR people would have wanted him to saddle with the image of Captain America…but he would have ignored their protests and would have done everything to be a part of this little guy’s life. With their age difference, there probably would've been no romance...but they could have been good friends. He closed his eyes and pictured helping raise him, bringing toys or snacks with every visit.

“I bet you don’t mind me being your soulmate,” Steve hummed to the little boy. 

His soulmate replied incoherently, mocking speech and chewing on his fingertips but obviously portraying joy.

Steve smiled at the boy. That was all that really mattered, his little soulmate’s happiness.

\---

It was fascinating to learn the little guy’s speech and watch his progression. Steve could discern “MINE” really quickly and laughed whenever his mate ever snatched back one of the dream toys that appeared when needed.

He also liked to say “no” and “boom.”

“Want to tell me your name today?” Steve teased, poking his soulmate’s nose.

“No,” his mate replied smartly. He grinned at Steve and happily sang, “Oh knee! Oh knee, oh knee, oh knee.”

Steve snorted and rolled his eyes. He tickled the little guy’s knees and asked, “Was that a song about your knees?”

His soulmate giggled madly and kicked out his legs madly to escape Steve’s touch.

“NoooOOOoooo,” he squealed delightedly.

He stopped and the little guy went back to playing with his cars. Steve leaned on his hand and murmured, “One day I’ll get it out of you.”

He kept trying to get his name and started to notice a pattern.

“Oh knee!”

Steve suddenly paused and murmured, “…Is that your name?”

“Yash,” his soulmate replied, handing Steve a plastic wrench.

Steve accepted the wrench and twirled it between his fingers thoughtfully. Steve considered the letters the little guy couldn’t pronounce yet and the general sound. He doubted this boy was named pony or boney, but maybe…

“Tony?”

The little boy’s head snapped up and he grinned happily at Steve, repeating, “Oh knee!”

Steve’s lips wobbled a little and he repeated, “Tony…Hi, Tony.”

“Oh knee, oh knee, oh knee,” Tony sang to himself and Steve chuckled wetly. He reached forward and mussed the toddler’s hair, making the boy squawk.

“Tony, Tony, Tony,” Steve whispered with his soulmate, saying the name more reverently than the sing-song version that Tony provided.

\---

“Are you my soulmate?”

Steve had been expecting it. He looked up from the checkered board to meet the eyes of a four-year-old Tony.

The toddler years seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye and grew skinny child with gangly limbs and a fierce intelligence.

Tony loved to play checkers and was impressively very good at it. They were sitting in a old study with a checkerboard carved out of chestnut. Tony had imagined it for them and said it was one his favorite places to be in his home cluing Steve into how wealthy his family must have been. Tony did not seem to notice his wealth and Steve never drew attention to it.

Tony continued, “My dad says that you’re my soulmate if we share dreams. He says I can only dream if you’re also dreaming…He doesn’t believe that I dream as soon as I go to sleep…that there’s never darkness. Dad says that it is ‘virt-virtually impossible.’” Tony struggled with the larger words. He had obviously imitated whatever his father had said. Tony continued, “He says there are nights where you are awake or I am awake so I should have experienced some darkness. He doesn't think you’re real. He said you should be my age so you must be an ima-imaginary friend I made up…”

Steve dropped his head and looked down at the pieces on the board before them.

He had to tell Tony the truth. Steve was dead. That was why he was always there and never awake. That was why he did not age…but…

He looked back to Tony’s big, hazel eyes and felt his heart pinch. He didn’t want to see upset in those eyes…Tony was young, too young to know the truth.

“I am your soulmate, Tony,” Steve assured the boy. He jokingly added, “Tell your dad I’m just big for my age and I’m always here because I go to bed extra early!”

Tony beamed and replied, “I will tell him!” He moved a piece on the board and murmured to himself, “I _knew_ you were my soulmate.”

Steve reached over the board and ran his hand over Tony’s soft hair. He smiled warmly at the boy in front of him and Tony returned the smile.

Steve's heart ached. 

When Tony's gaze returned to the board, Steve closed his eyes for a moment and reminded his tightly compressed heart that he may be dead but he was here in the dream world with Tony. 

It was better than nothing...no matter how much it hurt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am back after a long break! I am going to try responding to all of the comments I've missed while I was gone but, moving forward, I'll be posting to this new fic every weekend. Till next time! :)


	2. Broken Dreams

Tony was seven when he realized, “…Steve, are you Captain America?”

The child was staring at Steve with concerned, pinched brows.

Over the years, Steve had gained some control in the dreamscape. Tony had the most control, but Steve was able to create things as well. He could manipulate his clothes so he no longer wore the uniform he crashed in…but he couldn't manipulate his face.

“Why would you say that?” Steve answered gently, wanting to forestall the truth for as long as possible. He directed his gaze to the horizon and recreated the plain sky with a colorful sunrise and shaded mountains he had seem once in the alps.

Tony smirked at the horizon and then added King Kong onto one of the mountains and several planes began shooting at it.

They both chuckled but then Tony turned back to him and said, “My dad is looking for you. Your picture is all over his study…I never really noticed until I looked through his old scrapbook.”

“Who's your dad?” Steve inquired, wondering who had photos of him like that.

“…Howard Stark,” Tony replied, still staring at Steve as if he was inspecting him.

“Wow,” Steve laughed. “I never imagined him settling down and having a family.”

Tony’s expression went blank and he whispered, “So it's true?”

Steve sighed heavily and looked away from the horizon to focus all of his attention on Tony.

“Yes…Yes, Tony, it is. I am Captain America,” Steve replied with a sad smile.

Steve watched him warily as soon as the truth was out. He knew this day would come but, even with years to prepare, he did not know how Tony was going to react or…or mourn.

To Steve’s surprise, Tony’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed, “THAT’S SO AWESOME!”

Steve blinked. That was not the reaction he was expecting! Tony was jumping up and down babbling excitedly and Steve watched him ruefully.

Tony was young. He may be smart for his age, but he still didn't seem to grasp the greater picture of the fact that Steve was Captain America…that he was…dead…

For the next few days, Tony wanted to relive Steve's glory days. They reenacted scenes from his past or constructed entirely new ones. The dreamscape reflected the forests of France, Italy, or Germany and they created giant shadowy figurines that stood in place for Hydra agents or the Howling Commandos. Tony had the time of his life and Steve would catch the boy smiling at him with sparkling eyes.

“Where are you?” Tony would ask him periodically. “Tell me and I'll tell my dad and we'll save you.”

Steve would just shake his head and would allude the question by answering truthfully, “I don't know…”

\---

Eventually, the fantasy had to end.

The dreamscape materialized and the horizon was dark. Instead of Tony standing before him, it was the mansion that Steve recognized as Tony’s home. He’d seen it many times, but it was usually well lit and filled with the smell of fresh baked cookies made by Tony’s butler, Jarvis.

But now it was dark and cold and uninviting.

Steve was instantly worried for his soulmate.

“Tony!” Steve called out to him.

Tony did not answer.

The dreamscape was there so he knew his soulmate was there somewhere…but why wasn’t he responding??

Steve felt like he could easily slip into a panic attack and could already feel his breath quickening but he forced himself to remain calm. Steve lived in the dreamscape. All he had to do was think of something and it would happen. He closed his eyes and wished to be by Tony’s side. Everything around him became darker and Steve opened his eyes.

Steve was inside the house, standing in front of a closet door. Behind the closed door, he could hear sniffling.

“Tony?” Steve whispered gently.

“Go away,” Tony gasped painfully.

Steve ignored the plea and opened the door.

Tony was sitting in the corner of the linen closet with his arms wrapped around his knees. He was crying and his eyes were red as if he'd been doing so for a while.

“Tony,” Steve lightly called out to him.

“You're dead,” Tony bit out harshly.

Steve had been waiting for this day for years, but he wasn't ready. His chest compressed tightly with dread and he reached out to comfort Tony, but he flinched back. Steve closed his open hand and his other hand tightened on the doorframe.

The little boy demanded, “How are you here??”

“I don't know,” Steve whispered and bitterly pulled back his hand.

“But you're dead?” Tony demanded but his eyes pleaded with him to tell him differently.

Steve wanted to so badly lie to Tony. He’d never done so before but…but this was a truth that he’d been hiding for so long…too long.

“Yes, Tony. I am dead,” Steve whispered and his heart broke as he saw the devastating truth wash over the little boy.

Tony’s lip quivered and then he dropped his head and whispered, “Leave me alone…”

The dreamscape moved upon Tony’s request and the ground beneath Steve shifted, pulling him away from Tony.

“Wait!” Steve gasped, “Wait! Tony! I-I know this is horrible, but I don't – I can't leave you alone! You're my soulmate! I swore I would be there for you as long as I exist in your dreams! Don't push me away!”

Steve was maybe a few hundred yards from Tony when he looked up to him. His eyes were glistening with newly shed tears and Steve wanted to comfort him so badly that he felt his heart pull in his chest in the direction of the boy.

“I know this is horrible,” Steve whispered. “I may no longer exist in life, but I am still here, with you, in your dreams.”

“I want you in real life too,” Tony replied in a tiny, pain filled voice.

“I do too, Tony…I do too,” Steve sighed.

Tony shakily got to his feet, rubbing furiously at his face, and then sprinted to Steve. He ran into him at full force and buried his face into Steve’s stomach. Steve wrapped his arms around the little boy and finally let his eyes glisten.

“I’m here, Tony,” Steve promised. “I will always be here in your dreams, at least…”

Tony nodded furiously but was hiccupping and sniffling too much to really answer.

He didn’t say much the rest of the night. He mostly sniffled but, at one point, he murmured, “It’s not fair…”

Steve merely pulled him into another embrace and agreed wholeheartedly, “No, it isn’t.”

The next day, Tony acted like the confrontation never happened. He was laughing and asking about the Red Skull and just wanted to play like he always did.

Steve followed Tony’s lead and pretended like everything was alright…but, on the inside, his newly broken heart foolishly yearned for life beyond the dreamscape.

\---

Tony grew and the world grew with him. As worldly affairs became more noticeably to the child, he started to tell Steve about it. Soon, Steve was getting updates on, not just Tony’s day, but also of the world. It was through him, Steve learned over thirty years had passed since his plane had crashed. Tony took it upon himself to fill in whatever gaps in history he missed, including the music and movies. Tony would try to sing favorite songs of his and Steve would teasingly laugh at his attempts.

But it was nice, knowing what was happening. He felt more connected to Tony with it.

Tony was an extremely smart boy and had already skipped ahead by two grades in school by age eleven. Tony loved discussing the new things he learned and, in the dreamscape, he would recreate the workshop his father had given to him. It was small but filled with dismembered computers, large crate of hand-me-down tools, and was just so uniquely Tony.

Tony would recreate the robots or motherboards he was working on and explain what he was trying to do to Steve. He’d even started to teach Steve how these things worked. Steve was intimidated at first, but, was eventually beginning to understand what Tony was doing.

“You’re amazing, Tony,” Steve stated as a tiny robot rolled around Steve.

Tony grinned at him, his smile filled with gaps from missing baby teeth, but he still managed to gleam with pride.

Steve’s soul cried out in pain at the unfairness. Steve wanted to be there for Tony in the real world. He wanted to help him with his homework or personal projects.

He wanted to be there for the boy.

He was grateful to be able to share in Tony’s dreams but…but he still selfishly wished they could have had more.


	3. Dreaming with a Broken Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa! Where'd the weekend go? Sorry for the late update, here it is! :)

Tony was a late-bloomer but, when puberty hit, it hit hard.

“My face is a pizza!” The fifteen-year-old groaned. He buried said face in his hands and hunched over dramatically. 

“It’s a part of life,” Steve winced in reply. Even Steve didn’t get hit with acne as hard as Tony had but he wasn’t going to reveal that to his soulmate just yet. It might upset him even more…

No matter what the poor teen tried, he was unable to cure the acne. 

“Lana’s never going to date me now,” Tony lamented.

The confession sent a jolt of surprise through Steve and he stared down at his soulmate in shock.

“Lana?”

“Her parents go to the same Country Club as my parents and I see her there sometimes… She’s so pretty, Steve…This is so not fair…”

“She…If she's a good girl, she wouldn't mind…” He managed to reply despite the conflicting emotions growing within him.

Steve was in no way interested in Tony like that. To him, he was still the child he'd played with. 

But he was still his soulmate and to hear of his interest in another...

Eight times out of ten soulmates eventually became romantically involved. In the back of his mind, Steve had just assumed once Tony was an adult and matured…

God, he was so stupid.

Why would he assume that? Steve was dead! Even if they had eventually fallen in love, it wouldn't have been fair to Tony…Tony had a life beyond the dreamscape. He should be able to love and make a family…not waste his years away in a dream...with Steve.

Steve dropped his head and felt his eyes heat up. It had been years since the unfairness of the situation affected him so. He tried to keep his emotions to himself but sky darkened above them and the field they had been sitting on appeared more ominous in the dark.

“…You okay, Steve?” Tony murmured, noticing the change in the atmosphere.

Steve inhaled deeply, collecting his wits, and then smiled crookedly at Tony. He teased, “Sorry, I’m just lamenting what you'll have to go through to impress this girl.”

Tony paled and squawked, “What!?”

“Well, you'll have to do something impressive for her to see past...this…” Steve murmured, circling his own face.

The turn around worked and Tony clutched his face in horror, no longer noticing Steve's reaction to Tony’s feelings toward Lana. 

“Should I bring one of my robots to the club?? Do you think they'll let me bring it in!? I bet I can sneak it in…Or maybe create one small enough to hide in my backpack. Chicks dig tiny robots, right?”

Steve laughed and assured the teenager that robots were definitely impressive.

Tony spent the rest of the night talking about Lana.

Steve listened but all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hear no more…

He never before felt so alone and isolated in the dream world as his soulmate talked about the possibility of love with another.

\---

Tony and Lana were dating by the end of the week.

“She says her soulmate lives on the other side of the country and is annoying,” Tony stated. “She's kinda annoyed that my soulmate is so cool.”

“You told her who I am?” Steve asked in surprise.

Tony snorted and said, “No, she'd never believe me. I told her we're really good friends but you live somewhere in Europe. I can’t tell her the truth. You know, you're a legend now, right? Parents tell their kids stories of Captain America before putting them to bed.”

“Did your dad tell you stories?” Steve teased.

“Yeah…” Tony got a sad, far away look in his eyes and he smiled lightly. He murmured, “Yeah, he did…”

“You, okay?”

Tony shrugged and murmured, “Dad’s just being a jerk and won’t listen to me about stuff…”

“I’m sure you’ll see eye-to-eye soon,” Steve assured him but Tony just noncommittedly shrugged in response.

Tony’s face suddenly lit up and he gasped, “But back to Lana!”

Steve deflated but kept on a pleasant expression as he listened to his soulmate describe his love life.

\---

Lana and Tony only dated for a month, but Tony was quick to jump into another relationship and what followed was a series of quick romances over the span of the next few years. Steve eventually became desensitized to the ache in his heart and took on the role of friend or consoler as Tony talked to him about his various relationships.

Tony was also in a private high school and was soon being invited to parties where morals were less observed. Tony described a lot of drinking, dancing, and drugs all of which made Steve frown and discourage such activities. Tony got fed up with it and put up a wall between them some nights. Those nights were the worst…Steve had not been by himself in years. Ever since Tony started to dream, Steve had always been with him. When Tony was awake, Steve was immersed in darkness akin to the sleep he experienced when he was alive. It went by so quickly that Steve didn’t even notice it.

Tony’s changing hormones and his now constant fighting with his father factored a lot into his fluctuating nature with Steve. Some nights he didn’t want to talk to him and others he was reaching out to Steve like nothing had changed between them.

On one of those night, Tony asked him about sex and Steve, somewhat mortified to be talking about it, told Tony all he knew, which wasn’t much. Oral sex was the furthest he’d ever gone with a girl and she’d been the one doing all the work…He basically was still a virgin, which he haltingly revealed to Tony.

Tony’s eyes widened and he took a step back and examined Steve like he was a laboratory specimen.

“It wasn’t too uncommon in my day…” Steve argued with a flush.

“No…It’s just…” Tony ran his fingers over the goatee he was growing in and he murmured, “I just hadn’t realized until now…but…look at you…”

Steve looked at himself and then back to Tony. He saw nothing amiss and he asked, “What?”

“You haven’t aged, Steve…At this rate, I’m going to grow older than you…” Tony whispered, his voice filled with horror.

Steve had noticed it years prior but never said anything. He stated, “The dead have no need to age, I suppose…”

Tony dropped his head and clenched his fists, hissing, “Don’t say that…”

“That I’m dead?” Steve easily guessed.

“Yes,” Tony hissed the word like it was acid on his tongue. He still wasn’t looking up at Steve and it unnerved the super soldier.

Silence fell between them and Steve studied Tony, who still refused to meet his gaze. Tony…Tony didn’t think he was still alive…did he?

“Look at me, Tony,” Steve commanded.

Tony covered his face with his hands and muttered a quick, “No.”

“Look at me.”

“I…I can’t,” Tony whispered.

Confused and alarmed, Steve asked, “Why?”

Tony buried his face in his hands and whispered, “I always knew you were dead in the back of my mind, but I just…I don’t know…I stupidly believed maybe you weren’t…That maybe whatever was left of Hydra had found you and put you in some kind of comatose state to study you and that you were still there…still _alive_…” Tony picked up his head, his eyes red and dripping with tears, and he whispered, “I thought, once I was your age, I would find you, and save you, and we…we could…”

Tony trailed off and stared at him, looking so vulnerable and young.

Steve’s stupidly foolish heart flipped in his chest. Tony had thought similarly as Steve. He had thought they’d end up together in the end too.

Tony, gasped, “I didn’t notice you weren’t aging because you are always wearing different clothes and, dammit, maybe I was willfully blind to it!” Tony grasped Steve’s hands tightly and held onto him like he was his lifeline. Steve tightened his grip on Tony, relaying the shared sentiment. Tony nearly sobbed, “I don’t want to grow older than you!”

Steve pulled the young man into his embrace and let Tony hug him tightly as he began to shake.

Steve pressed his face into Tony’s hair and let himself finally shed some tears over his own death.

They held each other tightly, clinging to one another closer than they ever had before.

\---

Tony lost his virginity almost two weeks later. After that, Tony was convinced he was in love with this girl and talked to Steve about the future he wanted with her.

Tony started college and Francesca was finishing up her last years of high school. They were the same age but Tony was on an accelerated course. He didn’t think it’d get in the way of their relationship.

They only stayed together for a year. Tony found out she was cheating on him and broke it off. He was devastated and Steve knew she was the cause of it as soon as they returned to a dark and dreary landscape.

“Tony…” Steve sighed apologetically to the younger man. 

Tony shook his head, wiped his eyes, and wetly gasped, “She isn’t my soulmate anyways…”

What happened next, Steve would have never expected.

Tony grasped Steve’s shirt just under his collar and tried to kiss him.

Steve nearly let it happen because it was so shocking and he did not know how to react for a second, but, he pushed Tony away and gasped, “What are you doing?!”

“Kissing my soulmate, isn’t it obvious?” Tony retorted, angrily. “We were meant to be together! I don’t see the point in denying it any longer!”

“Tony-Tony-,” Steve struggled. “You’re still just a child!”

“I’ll be eighteen next month,” Tony countered.

Steve shook his head and retorted, “I am dead. There’s no changing that. You will find someone, alive, and you’ll fall in love and start a family and…”

“_I_ _love_ _you_, _Steve_!” Tony nearly yelled, his emotions strained his voice and made it sound like the statement was painful to say.

Steve’s jaw dropped slightly and his heart did an odd flip in his chest, as he did not know if he should feel elated or horrified by Tony’s proclamation.

“I’ve loved you for years,” Tony whispered. “But you never noticed…and I thought if I threw myself into other relationships…I would stop loving you but…but I can’t. What happened with Francesca proves it! I wasn’t upset that she cheated on me! I was actually relieved! Our relationship was based on lust…not like our relationship…”

“We do not have a relationship like that, Tony,” Steve whispered, stepping back. Tony moved with him, never letting any distance come between them.

“Steve,” Tony desperately whined. “You can’t say that. Your very existence here proves that. We’re soulmates. We’re meant to be together…”

Steve’s eyes heated and, with his voice hitching, he whispered, “We may have had a chance once…but that all changed when I went down in my plane in 1945. That was nearly forty – years ago, Tony. Look at me. I’m still 27. I have been for decades. I am dead and, no matter how much we care about each other, that will never change.”

“I don’t care. You’re _here_. I will be with you _here_. I will be happy with you _here_,” Tony angrily reasoned.

Steve shook his head again and whispered, “I won’t let you do that to yourself.”

And, for the first time since entering the dreamscape, Steve let a wall grow between them. The last Steve saw of Tony’s face was a hurt, betrayed expression.

Tony banged on the wall and screamed for Steve to let him in, but Steve ignored his cries. He pressed his forehead against the wall with gritted teeth and prayed Tony would change his mind tomorrow night.

The next night, went much like the prior night. As soon as Tony locked eyes with Steve, he launched himself at him and tried to kiss him. This time, however, Steve did not say a word. He gently dislodged his soulmate from his person and then put up a barrier between them again. He leaned against the wall and listened to Tony throw himself against it. Each impact was like a blow to Steve’s heart.

The rest of the week went like this. Both of them were persistent but it was also tearing both of them apart.

“_Please, Steve_,” Tony cried. “_I love you! Isn’t that enough_?!”

“I will not shackle you,” Steve retorted.

“_I don’t care if you do_!”

Steve sat down, refusing to answer. He looked to the fake, turbulent sky of the dreamscape and asked, “Why’d you do this to us, God?”

His only reply was Tony calling out to him.

Every night, Steve never immediately put up the barrier. He always gave Tony a chance to give up. When he finally did, Steve expected a sulky Tony, refusing to talk to him would be the sign that their fight was over.

What he wasn’t expecting was Tony to punch him in the nose with enough force to knock him off his feet. Pain was dull due to the dream but Steve still felt a sharp pinch and blood dripped from his nose probably because he imagined it.

Tony stood over him, shaking with rage. He hissed, “Fuck you! I hate you!”

The walls rose again except this time Tony was the one creating them, leaving Steve alone in a desolate wasteland. Steve gingerly sat himself up and lightly touched the cold wall. With a breaking heart, Steve leaned into the wall and gasped, “I’m sorry, Tony…”

Whether or not Tony heard him, he didn’t know…

But the wall was still there the next night and the night after that and…

Days passed.

Steve called out to Tony, knowing he was there, knowing he had to be able to hear him, but he got no reply…

The days turned into weeks.

The weeks grew into months.

And Steve died a little every day he was separated from his soulmate.


	4. Dream On

Steve didn’t know how long the wall remained up. He knew Tony’s birthday passed at least…it’d been the first time he had not celebrated Tony’s birthday with him…

Dark storms clouded the horizon, mirroring Steve’s despair. He never thought up anything for the landscape but it was usually an empty field that went on for miles and only ended at the wall Tony had constructed.

Steve never ventured away from the wall.

He’d been trying to protect Tony but only hurt him in the end. The wall had become a permanent fixture in the dreamscape and, no matter what Steve thought or imagined, he could not get past it. 

That night, however, it fell almost as soon as he entered the dream.

Steve stared at the crumbling wall with a shocked expression. He stepped toward it, his heart beginning to hammer quickly within his chest as his hope grew with every tumbling stone.

A thick layer of dust floated in the air after its total collapse and Steve called, “Tony!”

His shadow appeared and a moment later Tony’s body slammed into him. Steve instantly wrapped his arms around the younger man into a bone crushing embrace. Tony was shaking and his legs collapsed beneath him. Steve held onto him and carefully lowered him down. His elation immediately turned into concern as he felt sobs wrack Tony’s body so badly he could barely breathe.

“Tony?” Steve gasped, frantically looking Tony over, trying to see if he was hurt. “Tony, what’s wrong??”

Tony only sobbed harder, burying his head onto Steve’s lap while the rest of his body splayed out across the ground.

Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s head, lightly shushing him as he rocked.

“My – my parents – my mom – _Steve_,” Tony gasped his name like it was a plea. “They’re d-dead.” He gulped for air and couldn’t speak no more but he didn’t have to. Steve picked Tony up and held him close. Tony buried his face into Steve’s chest and tightly held Steve back. Steve lightly patted Tony’s hair and whispered, “I’m here. I’m here for you. I’m here, Tony.”

His heart broke for Tony, knowing the intense pain he must have been going through. Steve knee him. He’d probably been hiding most of his pain in the world of the living but, with Steve in the dreamscape, he was free to be true to himself.

“Let it all out,” Steve whispered. “I’ll stay with you throughout it.”

In the dream world, one never grew tired. So Tony cried and cried and cried until the darkness took them both away.

Seconds passed for Steve what was an entire day for Tony and then they were back in the dreamscape, looking at each other.

Tony’s eyes were red and as shiny as newly polished glass. He looked disheveled and his shoulders were slumped low like he carried the weight of the world.

Steve expected him to cry again, simply embrace him for comfort, or maybe open up about what happened.

Instead, Tony whispered hoarsely, “I love you and I will never stop loving you…”

The confession twisted his heart painfully in a viselike grip. Steve was torn between pushing Tony away and pulling him in.

It was so unfair…He just wanted to be there for his soulmate. He shouldn’t have to push him away.

“Tony…” Steve began apologetically.

“But, you’re right,” Tony interrupted him, clenching his fists. “I won’t try to start something between us. What’s dead is dead. There’s no changing that. I will move on.”

Steve had wanted this but had to clench his jaw to keep his chin from trembling. He nodded curtly to show he heard him.

“Alright…I need you to hold me now,” Tony stated, the tears already dripping from his eyes.

Steve quickly separated the distance between them and held him as tightly as he could. Tony did the same and both of them silently cried the rest of the night, neither never letting go of the other.

\---

Tony changed after his parents’ deaths.

He was obviously depressed first but he quickly transformed.

“I’m grabbing life by the balls!” Tony explained one night to Steve.

He explored the world, went to parties, drank, met new people, and made love to those new people.

Steve only knew he was sleeping around because Tony would arrive in the dreamscape naked sometimes and apologetically laugh as he imagined up some clothes for himself. Those were the nights Steve knew Tony had fallen asleep with a lover in his bed. Neither of them brought up the subject of Tony’s love life anymore or the near stolen kisses they had almost shared prior to the deaths of Tony’s parents. But it was there, hanging between them and Steve would feel its weight whenever Tony added another notch to his bedpost.

The drinking, however, was a regular topic between them. If Tony went to bed drunk, he was usually still tipsy in the dreamscape.

“Hey, Cap, lookin’ sexy as ever,” Tony slurred, brushing past him as his workshop appeared on the dreamscape in messy, watercolored splatters. 

“Tony…you need to stop this. It isn’t healthy,” Steve stated. The workshop lost its soft watercolor appearance and solidified as a sober Steve stepped into it.

“You sound like Pep, she’d like you if you weren’t all Patrick Swayze,” Tony stated and moved his fingers as if he was casting a spell in Steve’s direction.

“And Patrick Swayze is?”

“That hot guy from that movie Ghost. Our movie, remember?”

It had been Tony’s favorite movie when it first came out because it had been about a ghost who would not leave his soulmate’s side until she was safe. He always compared it to their predicament. Steve nodded and murmured, “Our movie…”

“I’m holding you back too…”

Steve’s brows pinched together and he rounded Tony to stand before him. He stopped him by grasping his arms and Tony swayed a little. Steve demanded, “What did you say?”

“Am I the reason you haven’t moved on? Are you staying behind because I am such a royal fuck up? Do you think you can fix me?”

“Tony…” Steve gently murmured, cupping one of Tony's cheeks.

Tony continued, “Well, you can't fix me! I'm a fuck up even with you here! I –!”

Steve pulled him into a rough hug and hissed, “Shut up, shut up, _shut up_! You're not a fuck up! You are the smartest person I have ever met and that's including your father!...You're just purely amazing! I – I know it feels like the end of the world right now but you'll get through this. All the pressures from losing your parents to taking on your father’s responsibilities with the company, they'll lessen overtime as you get stronger.”

Tony slumped into Steve's arms, letting him take all of his weight. He murmured into his chest, “You're too good for me…that's why I can't have you…”

Steve ran his hand through Tony's hair and sighed, “Oh, Tony…Did you listen to a thing I said?”

He got no reply, but he didn't expect one.

Tony stayed in his embrace for a long time before he wordlessly slipped away and went back to work. Steve watched him with an unhappy frown.

Before he slipped away into the land of the awake and living, Tony turned to him and murmured, “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Steve whispered and the darkness enveloped them.

Even after that night, Tony continued to drink. It was no longer every night but it was enough to still be an obvious problem.

But he smiled more and seemed to be happy.

And that was all that mattered to Steve: Tony’s happiness.

\---

When Tony had turned 21, he inherited all the rights to his father’s company. He revealed to Steve he was both nervous and excited. He had big plans for the company and it became extremely apparent in the dreamscape within the first week of his acquiring the company.

Tony threw himself into his work and would go days without sleeping. But, even in the dreamscape, he’d keep working, drawing out plans or discussing weapons or their history with Steve. Steve always lectured him on getting proper sleep but Tony seemed to enjoy being “babied” and would smile joyfully at Steve whenever he did it.

He held Tony’s face and had been peering at the smudges of grease that had been there for days and dark circles under his eyes. Steve grumbled to him about not taking care of himself and Tony just smiled at him like he usually did.

“You’re an egomaniac,” Steve groaned.

“You know you love that about me,” Tony teased.

Steve stiffened at the word “love” and Tony blanched when he realized he let the big “L” word out of the bag. 

“Um…I…” Tony said uncertainly.

“I do love _you_, Tony,” Steve whispered, letting his fingers stray to Tony’s hair. He ran his hands through the younger man’s hair for a moment and remembered doing so when he was a child…but Tony was a child no longer. He’d grown up into one of the most amazing men Steve had ever met.

Steve realized his hand still rested in Tony’s hair and then drew away. Tony moved with him, trying to keep Steve’s touch with him a little longer. He stared at Steve with large, shocked, and disbelieving eyes and appeared completely captivated by him. His words were definitely having an impact.

Steve sat beside him and directed the conversation away from the big predicament that was their relationship between them as he stated, “I _love_ how passionate you are about things, but, a lot of times, you will let things get out of hand. I don’t want you to inadvertently hurt yourself…”

“Ok, mom, jeez Steve, you’re worse than a mother hen…” Tony retorted with a laugh.

“Does that make you my baby chick?” Steve teased, making Tony snort and lean into his side.

They exchanged banter the rest of the night and Steve noted Tony was smiling wider and more warmly than before. He accounted it with his inadvertent confession. He’d never revealed his true feelings to Tony before, fearing his reaction. But, now, he was glad he did it.

\---

“We’re the same age,” Tony stated. “Exactly the same age. I calculated it, from the day you crashed since your last birthday…I added it all up and well, from here on out…I’m going to be older than you…”

“How…strange,” Steve murmured, thinking back to the first day Tony had entered his life with a world of bright colors to the day he became a self-conscious toddler and Steve saw his soulmate for the first time. Now he was a man in his prime. A CEO, an inventor, and a connoisseur. 

“I think I aged well,” Tony continued, leaning into Steve’s side. “Sure, you got the All-American Man going on but I have a suave, sophisticated Cary Grant thing going on.”

Steve snorted and said, “You looked that actor up just so I knew what you were talking about.”

“Totally did and he is the suavest motherfucker around.”

Steve snorted again and leaned into Tony too.

“It’ll be strange being the younger one,” Steve stated.

“Nah, you’ll always be the old man here,” Tony teased.

“I feel it…” Steve sighed. Steve wrapped his arm around Tony and Tony tucked his head under Steve’s chin as he wound his arms around Steve’s torso. Steve threw logic to the wind and pressed a kiss on top of Tony’s head.

Tony’s arms tightened around him and, with the simple gesture, he knew Tony still loved him…

And Steve would be remiss to admit it, but despite it being years since Tony had tried to initiate a romantic relationship, he still loved Tony too…

\---

More years passed and Tony stopped growing up and started to age. Steve first noticed it in his soulmate’s laugh lines as they stayed even after he smiled. Then he noted the frown lines between Tony’s brows were becoming more pronounced.

Tony filled out his body no longer gangly but muscled and defined. Steve would watch him as he worked and his muscles moved beneath his tan skin. Sometimes he felt Tony knew Steve was watching him. He’d wear loose, sleeveless shirts or nothing on his top half at all.

Steve was tempted. He was very tempted.

Tony even alluded to the fact that he hadn’t had a serious relationship in years, that he only had flings. He only loved people with his body and not his heart.

He knew Tony wanted to love Steve similarly.

And Steve would be lying if he would say he hadn’t considered it… but if they ever did… that emotional aspect of their relationship they’d both been denying, well, they wouldn’t be able to deny it anymore. So Steve only watched and fantasized secretly within his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re approaching Iron Man territory next chapter! \o/ 
> 
> And I already have the chapter title picked out...it’ll be: Nightmares 
> 
> >:D


	5. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ew, why is it Monday? It feels like it should be Sunday... :(

The dreamscape trembled.

That was the first indicator to Steve that something was wrong.

The second and most potent one was the fact that Tony was not standing before him like he always was when they first enter the dreamscape.

Tony was on the ground.

And he was covered in blood.

Steve fell to his knees and instinctually put pressure on the wounds even though it would be no help in the dream.

Steve had seen similar wounds in the war from shrapnel. Such wounds were a death sentence on the field. He hissed, “Is-Is this really happening?! You better not be messing with me! Tony??”

“The weapons’ test –,” Tony gasped, shakily putting his hands over Steve’s. Blood gushed between their fingers. “We were attacked on the way back – There was a bomb – A fucking Stark Industries bomb –!”

“Oh, my God,” Steve gasped, looking down at the wounds in his soulmate’s chest with renewed horror.

This was real. This wasn’t Tony playing some kind of sick joke.

And there was nothing Steve could do to help him.

Frustrated tears burned his eyes and he wanted to tear out his hair. Instead, he gently grasped Tony’s hand and then Tony gripped his hand like he was about to fall off a tall cliff.

Steve did the only thing he was able. He promised him, “I’m here.”

“_Steve_ –!”

“You _will_ survive this,” Steve pressed. “You are Tony Stark. You are amazing. A little shrapnel can’t keep you down!”

Tony’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears and his vision must’ve been blurred by it but his gaze was focused on Steve’s. His eyes were begging for Steve to help and Steve felt crushed by it.

He couldn’t do _anything_ to help Tony.

“_Steve_,” Tony breathed his name like a plea and clutched at him to bring them closer together.

Steve obliged by pulling the man into his arms and embracing him tightly.

Tony groaned and the sky above them became pitch black, like the blackness Steve experienced when Tony was awake…the same blackness he’d lived with for years before he met Tony. What did it mean?? Tony couldn't be -!

No, no, no, God, please. Not now. Not him!

“Hold on, Tony,” Steve whispered, clutching him closer to him. He pressed his face into Tony’s hair and closed his eyes, trying to shut out the encroaching darkness.

“S-Something’s happening,” Tony gasped, his fingers digging into the flesh of Steve’s back.

“Don’t leave me!” Steve half begged, half sobbed. They couldn’t end like this. It was too cruel.

The black sky was already beginning to bleed into the landscape, eroding away all the color and life no matter how hard Steve tried to concentrate and keep it back.

He collected Tony as close as he could to Steve’s broad chest and wrapped himself around his soulmate. The darkness would to go through him first if it wanted his soulmate.

The darkness encircled them and Steve knew they had only a handful of seconds left.

It wasn’t enough time.

He wasn’t ready.

There was so much he wanted to tell Tony still.

Steve’s heart was breaking with every passing second.

There was so much he and Tony could have shared…

“I-I’m scared,” Tony whispered into Steve’s chest.

Steve wanted to scream and rage his anger over this injustice…he also wanted to just sob and cry and mourn. Most importantly, he wanted many more years with the man in his arms. He wanted to love him, to cherish him…to be with him in all the ways they had denied over the years.

But they were too late.

Through it all, Steve strenuously whispered, “You shouldn’t be scared. I’m here, love. I’m h-.”

Steve was unable to finish the thought as the darkness swallowed them and tore them apart.

\---

The next time Tony was unconscious, it was only for a few seconds.

Steve was thrust into a dreamscape with no definition, just violent red and black colors clashing together and Tony screaming and struggling against an invisible opponent.

He was shirtless and his chest had most of the shrapnel removed and was a bloody mess.

Steve’s heart stopped and he could barely take a step toward his soulmate before being pulled back into the darkness.

\--

But the darkness was short lived.

The world was still a violent clash of reds and blacks.

Tony had an oxygen mask on and he moaned as he reached out to Steve.

And his chest…

Steve quickly adverted his gaze from the gore.

He doubted he’d ever forget the horrific image though.

Tony must be being operated on and was given drugs because he was out of it the entire time he was with Steve.

Tony couldn’t speak just occasionally moan. His eyes were glassy and full of pain, but focused on Steve as if he were begging him to stop what was happening to him.

It broke Steve’s heart.

He couldn’t do _anything_ for Tony.

He couldn’t go racing to the desert to find him.

He couldn’t rip off the butcher of a doctor operating on him.

He couldn’t help him.

At all.

Never before had he ever felt as powerless in the dreamworld as he did at that moment.

Steve did the only thing he could do and lay beside him for it all. He turned Tony’s head so he could see Steve and those hazy, begging eyes never once looked away from him.

Steve gently ran his hands through Tony’s hair and whispered gently to him until his soulmate’s eyes closed and the darkness took them again.

\---

Within the next dream, Tony was laying down again but was bandaged. The world around them was dark and undefined but it was not the same frightening blackness that had been threatening them earlier.

Steve instantly swooped over to him and knelt by his side. He imagined Tony’s plush bed and it thankfully appeared beneath him. The rest of Tony’s room materialized, blocking out the prior darkness.

Steve gently cupped Tony’s face and whispered, “Tony?”

“I’m alive,” Tony assured him, pushing himself into a sitting position with a groan. He clutched his chest and moaned, “I feel dead but I think I’m alive…everything hurts too much for it to not be real…right?”

Steve sniffled but agreed, “Right.”

“Hey,” Tony shushed him and also cupped Steve’s cheek. “I survived it, Steve…”

“You almost didn’t,” Steve whispered.

“Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” Tony weakly teased, his thumb lightly caressing Steve’s cheek.

Steve lean forward and pressed his forehead to Tony’s. Tony adjusted his arms, wrapping them around his back and sighed contently as he settled against Steve. Their eyes met and Tony tiredly smiled at him, making Steve’s heart contract.

He almost lost him and that very moment nearly destroyed him. 

But it also brought Steve clarity.

He loved Tony so much it hurt.

And Tony was far from safe.

He could still die and Steve knew he needed to act now in case they never dream again.

With his breath caught in his throat, Steve ran a thumb over Tony’s cheek bone and whispered, “Tony, I love you…”

Tony’s breath hitched and his fingers dug into Steve’s back. He gasped, “You shouldn’t say things like that…Unless you mean it.”

“_I do mean it _and I need you to know, in case…” He couldn’t finish the statement. It was too painful to say aloud. Tony’s eyes were locked with Steve’s, even when he pressed their foreheads together.

Steve dragged his fingers through Tony’s hair and stared into his hazel eyes, reassuring himself this man was indeed alive.

”You love me?” Tony pressed, cupping his jaw. “You’ve said it before but...” Tony’s eyes searched his and then he whispered, “This is different, isn’t it?”

Steve put his hand over Tony’s, pressing Tony’s hand into his cheek. Steve whispered, “It is different. This is more than friendship. I’m in love with you, Tony. I’ve been in love with you for years but did not act on it because - because I’m dead. I didn’t want you to feel as if you had to commit to me or trap you. But...” Steve caressed the back of Tony’s knuckles with his thumb. “Almost losing you...it doesn’t matter anymore. I didn’t want us to separate without you knowing...I love you so much. You are my everything, you-.”

Tony cut him off as he kissed Steve.

Steve saw it coming but the consequences for the kiss was the furthest thing from his mind. It was _such_ a bad idea and if Steve wasn’t emotionally destroyed from almost losing Tony, he may have pulled back.

But all he could think about was how much he loved and cherished this man.

So Steve kissed back.

Tony’s arms immediately wrapped around his head, pulling Steve in closer and tighter, like he was afraid to let go.

Steve kept kissing him though, pressing kisses into his lips, his cheeks, his jaw, his forehead, and the like. He never wanted to stop kissing him. After all of those years of denying this, he wanted to make up for their lost time.

“_Steve_,” Tony whispered, his voice was tiny but filled with such yearning.

Steve pulled back slightly and Tony groaned in protest as he tried to pull Steve back down. Steve let him pull him close enough that their noses touched. He asked, “Where are you, Tony? Are you safe?”

Tony shook his head and murmured, “I don’t know…I think I’m not in friendly hands…but they’re keeping me alive so that’s something…Let’s go back to kissing!”

Steve ran his thumb over Tony’s lip and his tongue flickered out for a quick lap at Steve’s flesh.

“Are you sure?” Steve whispered, cupping his cheek. Their exchange was a long enough that Steve had to pause to make sure this was fine.

“If these days are my last, I don’t want to spend them denying what we are…You’re my soulmate, Steve,” Tony whispered, he turned his head and kissed the palm of Steve’s hand that cupped his cheek. “I don’t just want you…I _need_you.” Tony surged forward and kissed him again. This time Tony’s tongue slipped into his mouth and drew a line on the roof of his mouth, leading Steve toward his mouth and beckoning Steve closer.

Steve breathlessly followed but Tony broke their kiss and whispered, “But if I survive this, and you’ll be damn sure I will fight my way out with my every breath, you can’t push me away again, promise me this, please?”

Steve stared down at Tony. He’d been with him since he was born. He watched him grow and mold himself into the man he was today. He was not just his soulmate, he was his best friend, and he was the man who held Steve’s heart. Steve had denied it for years to protect Tony but…Tony was staring at him with pleading eyes. Tony had never wanted him to push him away and he still wanted this.

“I promise,” Steve whispered and he pressed another kiss onto Tony’s mouth. Tony’s arms snapped around him in an immediate embrace which Steve leaned into. He tried to pour every ounce of his love into that kiss and Tony replied similarly. 

\---

Steve was thrust violently into the dreamscape as he had been before and he immediately expected the worst.

Tony hunched over, attached to a car battery.

He was gasping for air and soaking wet.

Steve knelt beside him and gasped, “What happened??” Looking at the battery, Steve gasped, “What are they doing to you??”

“They want me to build weapons, I refused,” Tony gasped hoarsely but still managed to smile cheekily at Steve.

“Love, please don’t antagonize them!” Steve gasped, helping Tony sit up.

Tony leaned into him, smiling sweetly at him and said, “I love it when you call me ‘love’. Out of all the pet names out there you go with the one that is straight to the point. That’s so Captain America.”

“Don't change the subject,” Steve sighed. “You can pretend to work for them. Delay them until someone comes to help.”

“And if that help never comes?”

The darkness claimed them both before Steve could formulate a reply.

\---

When Tony reappeared he was still attached to the battery. Steve’s eyes zeroed on it immediately and Tony gruffly explained, “This thing is keeping me alive. I guess I’m stuck with it here too…it’s really unsexy.”

“Imagine it away?” Steve suggested and stepped forward to cross the little distance there was between him and his soulmate. Steve cupped his face and Tony leaned into his touch.

“I doubt it will go away. It’s an extension of me now. My brain knows I cannot live without it so I cannot will it away just like you can’t will away your arm…”

“Why do you need it in the first place?”

Tony sighed and murmured, “We should sit down…”

Tony's favorite study appeared with a leather couch with plush cushions and Tony lowered himself onto the couch with a groan. Steve sat beside him and grasped his hand as Tony told him everything he had learned.

He was in the hands of a terrorist group known as the Ten Rings. When they realized who he was, they saved his life but were unable to get all of the shrapnel out. They wanted Tony to build them weapons. Tony refused.

“And…well…you saw what happened… I'm being held with this guy, Yensen, he says it would be impossible for someone to find us. We're underground, in a series of caves…I have to find another way out…”

Steve didn't want to give up hope but it was dwindling away. How was Tony going to escape a terrorist camp in the middle of a desert where no one who could help him knew where to look?

Steve tightly grasped his hand and whispered, “If I were alive, I’d be leading a team out into that desert to find you right now!”

Tony leaned onto his side and sighed, “That isn't an option, beloved.”

Steve's hold on Tony's hand tightened for a moment as the use of “beloved” made Steve's heart soar and then he lay his head on top of Tony's. Steve whispered more to himself than Tony, “Now, more than ever, I wish it was different…”

Tony carded his fingers through Steve’s and whispered, “Me too…”

They cuddled on the couch the rest of the night until Tony was ripped away from him again.

The following nights, Tony worked busily in his imagined workshop. He brought out scans and data on the arc reactor Stark Industries had built years prior and Steve finally asked, “What are you going to do with that?”

“I’m going to put a mini version of that in my chest so I can lose the car battery.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Steve stated, staring levelly at his soulmate from across the counter space between them.

“…It may be,” Tony retorted. “But it brings me one step closer to easy mobility and freedom.”

Steve clenched his hands, feeling useless. Ever since Tony was first captured he’d felt so incompetent…and it was building into an oppressive force, threatening to crush him under its weight.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” Steve whispered.

It was all he could do now, extort promises from his soulmate…it was so pointless. It would make no difference in the long run.

It was as useless as Steve’s ability to help…

“I promise, Steve,” Tony replied gently.

Steve sighed heavily and then opened the hologram Tony had been trying to hide from him. The image that appeared was a rough sketch of a robotic man.

Steve turned the hologram toward Tony and asked, “And this?”

Tony glanced at the image and then murmured, “A way to escape…much more dangerous than the reactor, but, I promise, I’ll be careful. I’ll always come back to you, Steve.” He reaches across the counter and grasped his hand. He promised, “I am here for you as you are here for me.”

Steve’s nails dug into the palms of his hands. He dropped his head and begged, “You promise?”

“I…I will try…”

Steve nodded but slumped forward as he shouldered more of the oppressive weight of his ineptitude.


	6. Wet Dreams

Steve stopped keeping track of how many days Tony was held captive. Instead, he remembered to fleeting moments he had with his soulmate. The kisses they shared when Tony would pause in his work or the moments Tony threw everything aside and dragged Steve to a newly materialized couch or bed and make out with him the rest of the night.

The only noted difference he saw was in Tony’s plans as his automated suit took form and solidified into something more real and plausible.

Most nights, the dreamscape was created by Tony, depicting a landscape he craved. Mostly, it was ocean scenery or of his own home in Malibu.

That night, however, Steve found himself facing Tony in Tony’s bedroom, outside was sunset and the sky was red, shedding its blushing hue onto everything it touched, including themselves. Steve looked to the sunset and then back to his soulmate. Tony’s eyes were glittering like diamonds in the dying light and Steve was drawn to them like a beggar man.

But Steve only got to admire his gaze for a few seconds as Tony cleared what little distance there was between them and pulled Steve into a tight embrace. They shared a deep kiss and then parted just slightly.

“We finished the suit. Yensen and I will be free soon,” Tony whispered into his lips and then drew him into another kiss.

“So soon?” Steve gasped, framing Tony’s face with his hands. His heart had started to beat faster because of Tony’s kisses but now it began to race for a whole new reason. The suit was an experiment at best. Tony wasn’t 100% it was going to even function. What if it didn’t work? What would the Ten Rings do?

“We can’t delay. Our captors will notice its shape is not anywhere near a Jericho missile…”

Steve’s heart began to beat even faster and the tips of his fingers dug a little deeper into Tony’s jaw. Swallowing down his nervousness, Steve stated with conviction, “You’ll escape. You will both escape and go home.”

Tony nodded and grasped his arms, pulling on him as he murmured, “Come to bed with me.”

Steve nodded and let himself be pulled in the direction of the bed. Tony crawled on first and Steve followed him and crawled over him as Tony lay down on his back. Steve positioned himself over his soulmate so they were parallel and he gently kissed Tony with no urging. Tony just as gently returned the kiss, lightly caressing his fingers over Steve’s back as he did. 

“…Tonight may very well be one of the last nights we spend together,” Tony stated aloud what was on both of their minds.

“Don’t say that,” Steve retorted, his heart twisting painfully in his chest.

“It is true. There’s a very low chance of this working…”

“No, you are involved. When you put your mind to something, you can accomplish anything!” Steve argued the very thing that gave him hope, because his soulmate was amazing. If anyone could do this, it was Tony.

Tony grasped Steve’s shirt and murmured, “I am only human and even I make mistakes…but I don’t want tonight to be one of them. Let’s stop arguing about this. Steve… I just want you and me – _us_ – right now, here, before the end of our dreams come be it tonight or decades from now.”

Tony’s leg came up between Steve’s legs and he pressed it onto Steve’s crotch. Steve flushed at the sudden attention and his mind ran wild at the obvious implication. Tony wanted Steve and he was obviously speaking in the biblical sense. Tony was also flushing but he licked his lips and his hands found their way under Steve’s shirt. He ran his hands along the ridges of Steve’s abs. It was slightly ticklish, but he barely noticed it under the overwhelming arousal that blossomed in his gut from the caress of those warm fingers.

Steve sputtered, “Y-You mean – this – now…here?”

He sounded so terribly naïve and he felt like a boy, being kissed for the first time by the neighbor girl again. But what Tony was suggesting, by God, it was more that a simple peck.

With a suggestive twitch to his eyebrows, Tony huskily murmured, “I was thinking, maybe, we both take a peek under our clothes and see what happens from there…”

Steve flushed furiously. He and Tony had done some heavy petting and dirty kissing but nothing more that even related to sex. It was a whole new realm to their relationship.

But, it was also something Steve had craved. Neither of them brought it up before because of the newness to their romantic relationship and the dire situation Tony was in, in the real world. But now...

“Do you want this just because you think you might not…” Steve couldn't finish the sentence, not wanting to even voice the horrid yet very plausible notion.

Tony grasped his jaw and made Steve look at him straight in the eye as he stated, “No, Steve I love you and I want to worship the man I love not just with my heart, but with my body as well.”

“I love you too, Tony,” Steve whispered back fervently. Steve leaned into Tony, hopping to let some of the embarrassed heat he was radiating seep into Tony, but he found his soulmate to be just as warm as he was. He looked more closely at Tony and saw that he was also nervous. He was clenching his jaw and his eyes revealed the fear he was trying to hide.

Did he expect Steve to deny him again?

Tony’s thigh was still pressed into his crotch and he couldn’t really think beyond that. Steve's arms were beginning to shake and he’d barely held himself up for a few minutes. He usually could do hours, no problem, but Tony…Tony made his muscles feel weak and his mind hazy. And then there was also a growing erection Steve could not stop from growing in response to Tony’s leg.

Steve’s own body clearly could not deny the man and his heart was already head over heels for him so…why deny him? Why question it?

Steve ran his fingers over Tony’s scalp and Tony caught Steve’s hand before he could pull it out of his hair. He thread his fingers through Steve’s and forced him to keep his hand on his head. Tony was biting his bottom lip nervously and eyeing Steve uncertainly.

“I don't think we ever exchanged ‘I love yous’ at the same time…” Tony noted in a quiet whisper to fill the silence that had grown.

Steve moved his crotch along Tony’s thigh and his breath hitched from the sudden stimulation. Tony’s free hand shot out and grasped Steve’s hip tightly. He gasped, “Steve??”

Steve leaned down and kissed his soulmate, dragging his crotch up Tony’s leg until he came into contact with Tony’s hips. Both of them moaned and Tony began to lightly buck his hips, making Steve’s arousal spike with each thrust.

Before he lost his mind to his growing lust, Steve gasped, “I just want you to know… I love you and I so badly want to make love with you, Tony.”

“Thank God,” Tony gasped and his hands shot up around Steve's neck and drew him down. Tony's hips automatically started to move against his and Steve peppered kisses all over his face, making his soulmate laugh joyfully.

Steve wasn't sure if he or Tony did it, but their clothes were willed away and in an instant their bodies were naked. They both moaned and Tony's hands were quick to run down Steve's back and cup his behind. Tony murmured something in an appreciative voice and Steve flushed again.

He felt out of his element and lost in the haze of desire. He let Tony lead them and followed his touches and kisses until Steve finally used their connected hands to press Tony into the bed.

Tony paused to groan appreciatingly as he took comfort from the soft mattress and Steve’s weight. Steve took the moment to purely appreciate the man beneath him: the way his thick eyelashes curled, the natural red of his lips, the cuts and curves of his body and how they were all angled toward Steve and Steve alone.

Steve had to make sure, “Are you sure?”

“Completely.”

Steve kissed him again with one hand on the back of Tony’s neck and the other grabbing his hip to draw him closer. They were skin to skin, but it didn’t feel like enough. He wanted more, _more of Tony. _

Steve’s hands roamed freely over his soulmate’s body, learning the new territory he’d never touched before and also learning what made Tony’s breath hitch just right. His fingers dug deep into the muscles of his thighs but also teased the gentlest of touches just above his groin.

“Waited so long,” Tony panted as Steve tentatively first touched him. He let out a hiss of repressed breath as Steve’s fingers slowly trailed down his shaft. Steve watched Tony’s face. He was enthralled by the lust and love that warred in his expressions. But, when Tony caught his eyes, he held his gaze and love burned through it all. So much so, Steve was positive his expression did the same thing because Tony chuckled and whispered, “You’re amazing.”

“So are you,” Steve whispered and leaned forward to kiss him.

Tony reached down and grasped Steve’s length too, making Steve hiss into Tony’s mouth. Then Tony held both of their cocks together and began to rub. Steve pressed his face into Tony’s neck as he was momentarily overwhelmed with the sensation. Once he got enough of his senses back, he joined his hand with Tony’s and pressed his forehead to Tony’s, so they were staring at each other as they made one another come.

Even as he unraveled, Tony’s gaze never broke from his and always burned with unwavering love. Steve hoped his eyes also conveyed the undying devotion he had for the man as he stared back.

They both gasped for breath but continued to stare, neither willing to break eye contact…neither willing to stop sharing their silent vow of love.

Steve caught his breath first and was so happy that all he could do was smile at Tony.

Tony groaned, “You’re so hot…”

Steve chuckled but it was cut off as Tony kissed him again, deep and hard. Steve pressed Tony down into the mattress and Tony curved his body upward, trying to stay in contact with Steve as much as possible.

Tony grinned and whispered, “This is the dreamworld and guess who’s getting hard again because his body isn’t tied down to the natural laws of the real world?”

Steve too could feel himself responding to the lust still flowing through him and murmured, “Is this what it is like with all soulmate couples? Nonstop sex in their dreams?”

“Babe, don’t bring up other people having sex while you’re in my bed,” Tony grumbled. “And, yes, when couples start having sex in the real world I hear the sex life continues in their dreams, but I hear most tire of the sex marathons after a while.”

“I don’t think I could ever grow tired of doing anything with you,” Steve murmured truthfully, lightly kissing his neck.

Tony paused and then gulped thickly as his gaze finally flickered away for a second. He smiled at Steve and then retorted, “You would change your tune if you ever saw me without coffee. I am a grouch if I’m denied my caffeine fix!”

Steve paused. He didn’t know Tony liked coffee.

And he didn’t know he wasn’t a morning person…

What else did he not know about his soulmate because he only lived in their dreams?

“Hey,” Tony whispered as he lightly grasped his chin and turned his head enough so that their gazes were meeting again. “What’s with that look? You’ve got Time magazine’s most eligible bachelor laying under you wanting to go another round and-,” Tony paused as he lifted his hand and a bottle of lube appeared in his hand. Smirking, Tony pressed the bottle between their hands and clasped it tight. He whispered, “I want us to take it to the next level. I want to know what you look like when you come with me inside you and I want to know how it feels to come with you inside me. I want to know in every way that is physically possible…”

“I do too,” Steve whispered, lightly nuzzling his face into Tony’s. “I just didn’t realize you weren’t a morning person all this time and it just reminded me…” He didn’t finish but it didn’t need to be said. It was just a reminder that Steve wasn’t a part of Tony’s awake life…

Tony grasped Steve’s hand and put it over his heart as he whispered, “You know why I’m such a grouch in the mornings? Because I was ripped away from you, my other half…I spend my mornings with your ghost lingering with me in my half awake state and…I’m not fun to be around until I’ve drunk enough coffee to get me out of it…”

“I didn’t know…” Steve whispered, gently running his fingers over Tony’s side.

Tony shook his head and whispered, “Neither of us can change our fate. The dreamworld is currently much, much more preferable to the cave I’m currently stuck in…and we are squandering our valuable time away talking about things we can’t change.”

“I would have turned the world against its axis to get to you,” Steve swore, laying beside Tony and hiking his hips up to meet his again.

Tony groaned and popped open the lube as he gasped, “I’d have thrown it completely off its axis and careening into space if I had the chance to get to you.”

They kissed with needy abandon. Tony was right. He could wake at any moment and any day now might be his last. They needed to make every moment count because their limited moments were dwindling away faster than falling grains of sand.

With slicked up fingers, Tony reached behind Steve and Steve arched back into his touch as he breached him. Tony pressed his forehead to Steve’s and gasped into his mouth, “I love you so fucking much.”

Steve grabbed Tony’s face with both of his hands and huskily replied, “I love you too, Tony. I love you so much too.”

They kissed again, more deeply than Steve and Tony had ever attempted before, like they were trying to show each other the true depth of their love but it was unattainable through the kiss alone.

Tony then climbed on top of him and then was inside him and they were finally one.

It was so intense that the dream wavered around them and then Tony started to move and Steve could only hold on as his orgasm began to build again. He wrapped his arms and legs around his lover and prayed the night would never end. 

—

End it did, but when they returned to the dreamworld, Tony was filthy, his skin sunburned and bruised but he wore a weary smile.

“Guess who’s currently the guest of US military?” Tony asked, his smile stretching into a smirk.

Steve enveloped him in a hug and gasped, “Thank God…”

Tony buried his face into Steve’s chest and clung onto him as he added in a soft voice, “Yensen didn’t make it.”

Steve pressed Tony closer to him and gasped, “Oh, Tony…I’m so sorry. He sounded like a good man.”

Tony nodded and agreed, “He was…”

Tony didn’t say anything more on the subject, but he did hold Steve tightly for several moments.

Steve covertly looked Tony over. Other than a few cuts and bruises he seemed fine but he was still in the clothes he was wearing in the cave so he probably hadn’t received a proper medical check up yet. Steve murmured, “You’re napping right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m exhausted,” Tony groaned. “I feel like I crossed half the desert before they found me…”

“But they found you,” Steve whispered with relief, gently cupping the back of Tony’s head.

He was going to survive.

“Come here, beloved,” Tony whispered, grasping Steve’s cheek and drawing Steve’s lips to his. Steve sighed as he relaxed into Tony’s kiss. It was so unlike all the other kisses they shared. It was unhurried and his lips slid across Steve’s in a slow and gentle caress.

Steve dug his fingers into Tony’s back but returned the kiss in the same relaxed manner.

Tony leaned back and they fell upon the soft bed that materialized for them. Steve kissed him all over, cherishing every piece of him until the dreamworld disappeared when Tony regained consciousness.

—

When they returned, Tony was cleaned up and his arm was in a sling, but he was still smiling. They were in each other’s arms again in seconds and Tony murmured, “I’m going home.”

Steve was happy for him and he was still elated that Tony was going to live. They were kissing again within seconds and it took only a moment for one of them to imagine a bed before they toppled into it. They laughed and kissed and one of them groaned for a particular good kiss and then their clothes were gone and then they were making love again.

It quickly became a reoccurring factor in their lives. 

Steve learned all he could about Tony’s body in the period when they couldn’t get their hands off of each other. He knew where to touch him just right to make him moan in ecstasy or tease him just enough to make in groan from sexual frustration. He realized kissing him along the ribs made his toes curl and he became more turned on by Steve’s strength when he pushed him into the bed.

But he also discovered a sweeter side to his soulmate when they made love. In the act of sex, when either one of them were thrusting into the other, Tony was always talking…but it was always about Steve. He would gasp how much he loved him and how wonderful he was in bed or in general. At the end, when they were all blissed out and cuddling, he’d whisper to Steve how fulfilled he felt with him and that he no longer felt alone ever since Steve had welcomed him into his heart.

Steve didn’t think it was possible to fall even more in love with him but he did.

And they both avoided talking about the huge white elephant in the room of Steve’s existence. Tony had survived such a traumatic experience that both of them unanimously agreed to concentrate on loving each other instead of thinking about the future.

Tony would, of course, tell him about his everyday life too. It wasn’t all sex and sweet endearments.

Tony walked him through the building of the Mark II suit and Steve even helped him pick out the final colors. Tony also built himself a new reactor for his chest, but they had a very long and lengthy discussion about Tony’s health and safety before he installed it. They got into countless debates about how to keep people safe and whether or not he should tell the military about the suit he had built.

Despite being isolated in the dreamworld, Steve felt like he was a part of Tony’s life because of their nightly talks.

But…

They were both fooling themselves.

And it all came to an end the night Obadiah betrayed Tony.

Tony appeared in the dreamworld facedown on the ground. There was no definition to the world, just darkness, and Steve’s eyes just narrowed in on Tony.

His heart seized and all he could think was:

_Not again_.

He assumed shrapnel again and his eyes were already heating up as he turned him over. He assumed the worst. There was no way Tony would be lucky enough to survive a second explosion. His heart wasn’t as strong, Tony told Steve so himself. However, after turning him over, he saw no blood or visible wounds…just a hole in the shirt where Tony’s reactor…

Tony’s reactor was flickering.

The steady glow that kept Tony from the edge of death was failing.

Tony was clutching his chest with one hand and with the other he grabbed Steve.

“Tony!” Steve hissed, his voice tight in his panic.

Tony didn’t get a chance to say anything. His hand tightened on his reactor and the glow grew brighter and then…he was gone.

\---

When they returned to the dreamworld, Steve was still on the verge of losing everything but Tony looked…fine. He was tired and the glow was back in his chest but he’d clearly been through the ringer.

Steve fell to his knees, unable to absorb it all.

“_Steve_?” Tony gasped, kneeling in front of him with a concerned expression.

“Y-You almost died again,” Steve gasped.

Tony grimly nodded.

Steve dropped his head and then whispered, “And once again, I could do nothing to help you…”

Tony’s grip tightened on him slightly but he made no immediate rebuttal, a sign that he agreed despite eventually stating, “You being here to comfort me is enough…”

Steve pressed his face into Tony’s shoulder and, with a breaking heart, gasped, “It’s not enough…”

He pulled Tony into a rough embrace and, after years of repressing his fears and sorrows, it all became just too much. He finally let himself weep.

The day Tony had been born, Steve swore to himself that he’d be strong for Tony but…he couldn’t be strong anymore. He’d shouldered so much over the years, but he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t be strong for Tony after nearly losing him again and again and not being able to even attempt to help him. He was there for Tony in the dreamworld, but… he wanted to be there for him in the real world too…

How many more times would he be forced to watch his soulmate get badly hurt or almost die?

How many more times would he be forced to do nothing as Tony struggled to hang on?

And how many times would he have to wonder if it was it? If it was the end and Tony was finally going to die?

His eyes burned with his tears and his sobs shuddered throughout his body.

Why were they cursed with such a mating?

How could they truly live without being there for each other in the real world?

Tony held him tightly and, in a frightened voice gasped, “I – I’m alright, Steve. I got my reactor back and defeated the bad guy. _Beloved_ – please – _oh_, _God_ – please, don’t cry. I’m fine. _Shhh_, _I’m_ _fine_.”

“It’s not fine, Tony,” Steve finally was able to hiss out of his constricted chest. “None of this is _fine_.”

Steve refused to let go of him the entire night…but, come morning, Tony was torn from his arms like he was every time his soulmate woke…like he always will.

Steve was stuck in a loop with no way to escape.

\---

When Tony returned the next night, Steve’s melancholy was almost palpable.

For once, the landscape was his own. They were in Steve’s childhood home, sitting in the small living room where the largest window in the house was. They sat in the sofa chairs by the window, looking out into the overcast, grey streets. It was raining and the only sound that could be heard was of the heavy droplets hitting the roof as well as the occasional droplet breaking through the ceiling and hitting something indoors.

“You have always been so easy to read. I merely needed to look at the sky and know how you were feeling…” Tony whispered to him, turning in the old chair to face Steve.

Steve kept his gaze outside, watching the rain, and whispered, “…I didn’t realize I was so readable…”

“We share this world. You influence it as much as I do…”

Steve dropped his head and whispered, “That’s all I can do.”

Tony sighed heavily and then reached between them to grasp Steve’s hand. He murmured, “That’s not all…or did you forget you made this crooked heart learn to love?”

Steve finally looked to his soulmate and Tony smiled sadly at him. He whispered, “You are not worthless to me, Steve. You are my soulmate, remember? You’re my other half and without you I’d be…incomplete …practically empty. And it’s destroying me to see you like this. What can I do to make it better?”

Steve shook his head and murmured, “Nothing…Unless you can bring me back to life…absolutely nothing.”

They sat in silence for a moment and thunder rumbled in the distance.

“Just hold me, Tony,” Steve whispered. The only comfort he found was in Tony’s arms. “Just hold me until my heart is strong enough to beat without you shielding it…”

Tony did just that. He got off his chair and joined Steve on his, partially sitting on his lap as he wound his arms around him. Steve wound his arms around his soulmate and pressed his face into Tony’s chest.

“Steve, I hadn’t…I hadn’t known you were in such – such pain…Why didn’t you tell me, beloved?” Tony kissed the top of his head and Steve felt his eyes heat.

“I didn’t want to hurt you…” Steve whispered.

“It hurts knowing you’d keep this from me,” Tony murmured. “We’re not holding back anymore, remember? It’s just not physically. We need to be open with each other.”

Steve nodded and softly said, “I’m sorry…”

“You don’t have to apologize, beloved,” Tony whispered. “Especially about this…”

Silence fell between them again, but it was calmer. Steve took comfort in his hold and the skies outside slowly cleared up.

Tony ran his fingers through Steve’s hair, carding new strands with ever passing. He whispered, “You – You want to hear something crazy? I told the entire world I am Iron Man a few hours ago.”

Steve lifted his head and gasped, “You didn’t!”

Tony smirked at him and Steve slapped his arm, gasping, “Tony, did you actually do it!?”

“Yup!”

Steve palmed his face with a groan and sarcastically mumbled, “Never mind, I don’t want to be in the real world…I’d have an aneurism by now with the things you do…”

Tony lay his head on Steve’s shoulder as he nestled into his side and murmured, “Love you too, beloved.”


	7. Lucid Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I figure it, defrosting would not be too comfortable....

The world moved on and, now that everyone knew Tony was Iron Man, they were all clamoring for a piece of his suit, the U.S. Military specifically.

Tony would come to the dreamworld groaning about it and Steve would help him come up with ideas on how to thwart their attempts to take his suit.

They made love again and again. As he rocked his hips against Tony, he happened to notice something on his chest and paused mid-thrust.

“Oh my God, Steve, what are you doing?” Tony groaned, arching in Steve’s direction to get him to continue.

“Tony…there’s something on your skin,” Steve whispered, touching the veiny black mark on Tony’s skin meandering away from the reactor.

“There’s something in my ass but it’s doing nothing for me right now,” Tony groaned melodramatically, flopping his limbs.

“Drama queen,” Steve chided, rolling his hips in the way he knew would make Tony’s toes curl. Tony hissed in surprise and grabbed the bedding as if to steady himself.

He grasped Tony’s cock and jerked him off in time with his thrusts, making his soulmate unravel quickly. Steve let himself give over to the pleasure so he could come with Tony and then he collapsed beside his soulmate, turning so he’d be facing him. Tony turned to him and Steve reached out and touched the strange mark again. Tony looked down and Steve said, “It’s coming from your reactor. Is it an infection?”

“I don’t know…It must have just showed up because this is the first time I’m seeing it,” Tony murmured. Steve frowned at the mark and Tony grasped the hand tracing it with a chuckle. Tony kissed his fingers and pressed Steve’s hand over his reactor as he promised, “I’ll check on it first thing in the morning, I promise…”

\---

When they next returned to the dreamworld, Steve could tell by the depth to the bags under Tony’s eyes that he had pulled an all-nighter…Maybe two all-nighters…

“…I’m going to die,” Tony stated bluntly.

The smile he had greeted Tony with, slipped off his face and Steve gasped, “W-What?”

“I’ve got a year…probably less if I keep using my suit,” Tony explained, his voice sounding far away. He touched his reactor and ironically said, “The very thing that’s keeping me alive is killing me…”

“The mark,” Steve gasped with horrifying realization.

“Palladium poisoning,” Tony whispered.

Steve wobbled and then fell down into the chair that materialized behind him.

Tony closed the distance between them in a few steps and fell to his knees in front of him. He wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and lay his head on his lap. Steve put one hand on his head and the other grasped Tony’s shoulder tightly.

They didn’t say a word to each other the rest of the night.

They just held each other, and Steve contemplated their future.

If Tony died, would Steve die with him?

Or was the dreaded darkness of Tony’s waking hours going to be his eternal fate?

\---

In the coming weeks, Tony went through the motions of putting his affairs in order and the marks on his chest grew in size and discomfort. It hurt him to move his upper torso too fast.

Steve tried to support him as much as he could but…his soulmate was dying.

He was hurting too. Every time Tony winced or he saw the marks, or he contemplated how much longer they had…he felt like someone was trying to rip his heart out of his chest.

He didn’t want to believe it at first, but the evidence of Tony’s decay became quickly evident whenever he saw him without his shirt. He went through a period where he was pissed at God for letting this happen, but it did not last long…he’d rather spend their remaining time together than fuming alone.

They made love with more passion and kissed until they needed to speak and told one another that they loved each other so much that it was practically in every sentence.

“Maybe when I die, we’ll just be here for eternity,” Tony mused, snuggling into Steve’s side as they came off their orgasm high.

“Or maybe we’ll both be reborn and this time we will actually find each other in the real world,” Steve whispered.

“Hmmm, would my alternative self still be this sexy?” Tony mused, biting down on his lip and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at Steve.

Steve took the bait and kissed that same lip. He then whispered into his mouth, “Being that I find you more beautiful every day I see you, yes, I think I would…”

Tony leaned up and pressed a hard kiss into his mouth. Steve curled over him and dug his fingers into Tony’s flesh as their kisses grew more wild and enthusiastic.

“We deserve more time,” Tony hissed. “I only had you for half my days, whereas all other soulmates have each other day and night…If karma is real, then we should be given so much more.”

\---

Karma must’ve been on their side because…Tony found a cure.

After another all-nighter, he returned to the dreamworld with a new reactor and a large smile that had been absent from his face for many weeks.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for a couple more decades,” Tony stated with a teasing shrug.

Steve looked from Tony’s smile to the reactor and then back again and then gasped, “You-You did it?”

Tony nodded and whispered with a tight voice, “I’m going to live.”

Steve threw himself at Tony and happy tears immediately fell from his eyes as he embraced his soulmate.

“You’re brilliant,” Steve gasped. He pulled back to kiss him and then peppered kisses all over his face as he gasped, “You’re so smart and perfect and amazing –.”

Tony laughed and grabbed Steve’s chin, putting a stop to his kisses. Tony teased, “Not that I don’t love the compliments, but your kiss will do for now, beloved.”

Steve hummed in agreement and kissed Tony deeply. They fell back onto the bed, both laughing joyfully upon landing.

\---

Tony dealt with Vanko and started to build a new home in a skyscraper in New York.

They fell back into routine.

Steve, of course, knew something could happen to Tony again. He was a superhero. It came with the job.

His heart had weathered the pain from those consequences more than once now and he felt like he was ready for the next time.

But he wasn’t expecting something to happen to himself.

“Something weird is happening,” Steve stated, staring down at his fingers.

They were…tingling.

In their dream, he and Tony were lounging in Tony’s bedroom at the Tower, outside, however was an evergreen forest Steve had trekked through in France.

They’d just made love and Tony carded his fingers into Steve’s and pulled his hand toward Tony. He looked at Steve’s hand and then murmured, “What do you mean?”

“I could always feel things in this world, it’s diluted and it’s only things associated with my emotions or with you…” Steve whispered, lightly caressing Tony’s fingers with his thumb. “I can feel the warmth of your skin when you touch me or…or when I had cried I had felt my lungs burn from my shallow breathing…but I think it was because those things were associated with my memories or maybe even a combination of both of our memories. But right now, this…” Steve stared at the tingling fingers with a pinched brow and stated, “I haven’t felt this in decades, my fingers feel like that pins and needle feeling when your hand has gone numb…”

He shook his hand to try and dispel the feeling, but it didn’t work.

“Maybe I fucked you hard enough to make you go a little numb,” Tony chuckled. His hand trailed down Steve’s stomach and then wrapped around his cock.

Steve didn’t notice the tingling feeling as Tony began to stroke him.

But, when they cuddled again, just before Tony woke, Steve looked at his fingertips again as he noted the numb feeling and darkly wondered what it could mean

\---

The next night was worse. All of his limbs were tingling. The pins and needles were now painful and he winced with every step.

Steve had to lay down and Tony worriedly hovered over him.

“What does this mean??” Tony demanded.

“It could mean a lot of things,” Steve rationalized with a grunt as he lay down.

“This is it, isn’t it?” Tony gasped, his voice growing higher. He sat down next to Steve and nervously collected both of Steve’s hands into his.

Knowing what Tony was implying, Steve said, “We don’t know what this is.”

“You’re dead, Steve,” Tony hissed. “You should have moved on. You should have never been in my dreams. What if this is it?? What if you’re finally l-leaving me?” Tony’s voice broke with the notion.

“I’m here, Tony,” Steve whispered. “I will always be here. Why else would I be here other than to stay with you? You’re my soulmate. I am not going to leave you.”

“You have no control of that,” Tony hissed, sitting beside Steve on the bed. He cupped Steve’s cheek and whispered, “I looked into it and no one in recorded history has ever experienced what we have. We don’t know why you were able to stay in my dreams but maybe…maybe our luck is running out…”

Steve put his hand over Tony’s and leaned into his touch. He whispered, “I don’t want to leave you…”

Tony’s face crumbled and he looked like he was on the verge of tears for a second. However, he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath and, when he reopened his eyes, he stated with a determined voice, “I’m going to figure this out. If I could save myself from the edge of death…then I can do the same for you.”

—

Steve fell to his knees as soon as they returned to the dreamscape.

All of his muscles were tense but his insides – oh, God – his insides felt like they convulsing with every heartbeat.

He felt nauseous, like he was going to vomit his very organs. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this sick. In the dream world, he usually only felt things he conjured up things for, like if he wanted to feel the heat of Tony’s skin, his memory would fashion together something for him.

But this…this was something he hadn’t felt in decades.

He wrapped his arms around himself and whimpered as the pain mounted with every passing second.

Tony was at his side in seconds and hovering worriedly around him, clearly wanting to touch him but too afraid to do so in fear of hurting him further.

Steve fell onto his side and sobbed, “_Tony_.”

Tony knelt beside and gasped, “Beloved, what can I do??”

Steve grabbed him and pulled him into his arms. He couldn’t smother the pain, but he could have Tony…he could try and concentrate on his soulmate instead of the pain.

Usually, when Tony was in his arms, Tony was his everything. He’d concentrate on the weight of his limbs, the closeness of their bodies, and the feel of his smile in their kisses. His every moment in Tony’s arms was spent loving one another and nothing else mattered.

But he could barely note Tony was in his arms right now.

Everything felt like it was on fire.

Tony held him tightly and frantically whispered, “You can make it through this, _Steve_. Fight it. _Stay with me_. Stay with me, beloved. Please, _stay_.”

Steve heard him but couldn’t reply at that point. He could only breathe, hold Tony, and experience all of his nerves come alive in a torturous agony.

\---

Tony woke hours earlier than he usually did. It was still dark out and he looked at his clock with a curse.

He didn’t mean to wake up!

He scrambled out of bed and ran into his bathroom.

“Sir, is everything alright?” Jarvis asked, turning on the lights for him.

“I need to go back to sleep!” Tony gasped, pulling open one of the drawers in the expansive bathroom. His sleeping pills rolled toward him, loudly clinking within the bottle. He’d used them only a few times, when he thought he was dying and he wanted to spend more time with Steve. 

He popped open the bottle and downed the pills dry. They wouldn’t go into effect immediately and, the way his heart was beating frantically, he doubted he’d be able to fall back asleep any time soon.

He went back to bed either way and clutched the sheets tightly.

He was terrified of losing Steve.

The man had been with him since he was born and Tony took it for granted. He naively believed he’d always be there.

He wanted to be with Steve if this was the end…but it also meant Steve would return to the dreamworld with him and be in pain.

He was torn from wanting to be with his soulmate to wanting to protect him from anymore agony.

Tony covered his eyes with a shuddering breath.

How did their lives come to this?

Why was this happening to Steve now? What had triggered it??

“…Sir, is there anything I can do?”

Tony dropped his hand and considered Jarvis’s inquiry. Finally, he whispered, “Nothing J…Not unless you’d know how to bring my soulmate back to life…”

“Unfortunately, I do not.”

With his heartbeat slowing with his growing melancholy, Tony ironically whispered, “I didn’t think so…”

Tony eventually returned to the dreamworld and Steve was the same, suffering in his agony.

And Tony curled into his beloved’s side and silently suffered with him.

\---

“Tony…what’s going on?” Pepper asked with concern.

“Hmm?”

Tony had been staring off into space, trying and failing at figuring out ways to help Steve. He had already exhausted all his leads years prior when trying to figure out how he and Steve were dreaming together in the first place. No one could figure out how a dead man could keep dreaming with him. It was unheard of. So he did not know who to approach about this…maybe he could inquire with someone on…on what happens in dreams as another soulmate dies.

Just thinking of it made his stomach turn over.

Pepper had come over with forms to sign and she’d started talking about a scandalous affair between a front desk secretary and one of the town car drivers. Tony only half listened but hadn’t noticed her stop.

Pepper slid next to him on the couch, lightly touched his arm, finally drawing his full attention. Her eyes searched his and she whispered, “You’ve been very quiet the last few days and look…sad. What’s going on?”

Tony dropped his head and, with a sad smile, whispered, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

The only people who had known Steve was his soulmate were his parents and Jarvis (the butler and AI) and neither parent believed him and, as it was, they were all dead. Everyone just assumed Tony never had a soulmate and no one usually asked about it because they didn’t want to hurt his feelings…

“Try me,” Pepper retorted defiantly.

Tony almost eluded the subject, like he always did when the subject of his soulmate came up, but this time he lay his head against the back of the couch and began to talk. Pepper silently listened as he weaved his fairy tale about the perfect soulmate and his cursed existence.

At the end of it, she was quiet for several moments until she finally whispered, “You’re so much more stronger than I thought you were…to bear this for all these years, to not tell anyone, and to still love him…”

Tony shook his head and whispered, “I don’t feel strong…I don’t know what I’ll do without him. He’s my _entire _life.”

\---

“I…feel better,” Steve murmured in surprise, flexing his arms and moving his fingers in tandem.

Tony wasn’t fully convinced and murmured, “Are you sure? Is this like the calm before the storm? Maybe this is like your nirvana stage and you’re going to disappear any second…”

Steve smiled sweetly at him, making Tony’s heart ache. It’d been days since he last saw it.

Steve did look better. He was standing and that pained glaze from his eyes was gone. Was he really okay now?

“I personally like to think my drive to stay with you is stronger than whatever this was,” Steve replied. “…I think everything is going to be alright.”

“Are you sure?” Tony whispered, desperately hoping Steve was right.

Steve cupped his face and whispered, “I’m here to stay, love.”

Tony crawled into his embrace and Steve kissed the top of his head and Tony felt the first inkling of ease.

They spent the rest of the night cuddling and sharing gentle kisses as they recalled that content feeling each other gave to the other. Tony’s worry lessened with every sweet touch.

Steve was not going to leave him.

He was not alive but he was here, at least, in the dream world. And whatever trial that was, he had made it through at least and was going to stay in Tony’s dreams.

\---

The next night, Steve was standing and he smiled widely at Tony. He laughed, “I feel great!”

“Thank fuck,” Tony gasped, embracing his super soldier tightly.

“Language,” Steve teased, holding him back just as tightly and burying his face into Tony’s hair.

“_Or_ you could fuck me?” Tony countered with a slick smile and pulled Steve back to the bed that materialized behind him.

This was the longest the two of them had gone from making love since they started and they were long past due.

“Fuck yes,” Steve groaned, pushing Tony into the bed as their clothes disappeared.

“Language, Cap,” Tony chuffed with a smile. Tony felt like he was going to burst from the joy pooling within him but then Steve began to touch him and his lust burned through all the excess in seconds.

“God, I love you,” Steve whispered into his mouth and, as he kissed him, Tony knew everything was going to be alright.

They made love, they cuddled, and then made love again.

It was normal. Things were falling back into place.

As they cuddled and Tony was telling Steve about Pepper’s reaction to him having a soulmate when Steve suddenly perked up.

Steve looked around them with a befuddled expression and then looked to Tony with a pinched brow.

“What’s up,” Tony asked, trading an equally perplexed look with his soulmate.

“Do you hear that? Is that you making that noise?” Steve asked in confusion.

“Ughhhh, my voice?” Tony guessed. The dream world was silent with the exception of their own voices.

“No…” Steve whispered, slowly laying back down. He still appeared confused and explained to Tony, “It almost sounds like a commentator for a baseball ga –.”

The darkness was immediate.

Pitch black and void of everything.

Void of Steve.

It was the first time Tony had dreamed without his soulmate by his side. It was so traumatic that he woke in seconds and nearly screamed.

He sat up sharply, gasping for breath like he’d been underwater for too long.

The darkness was gone and he was back in his bedroom and so very awake. He could tell he was awake by the way his heart hammered wildly against his ribs.

But that cold darkness lingered in his skin, raising the hair on his arms.

Did that just really happen?

Did Steve just –?

There was no mistaking it…

He’d never experienced it before, but he’d read up about it. That darkness had felt empty and eternal and it only appeared if one’s soulmate was awake or…

Dead.

Soft morning light was already illuminating his room but he usually slept in much later. He glanced at his clock seeing it was early in the morning with the sun just peeking over the horizon.

With his eyes already heating up, Tony scrambled to his bathroom. He fell right before the drawer where his sleep medication was. When he grasped the handle to the drawer, he was already starting to hyperventilate.

“Sir? Do you require medical attention?” Jarvis asked as he hung off the handle, trying to catch his breath.

“No,” he gasped, his voice breaking.

He dragged open the drawer and gently grasped the pill bottle. He held it tightly to his chest, afraid to take it.

What if Steve wasn’t there? What if it was only darkness?

What if Steve finally died for real this time?

He needed to know. He needed to confirm it but…he was absolutely terrified.

Because he knew he woke up because he’d been so shocked and alarmed by the sudden darkness and that darkness was probably still waiting for him.

Because…Steve was gone.

Tony curled in himself and painfully gasped, “Oh, Steve…baby...no...”

What if they never dreamed together again?

What if this was it…the end?

He closed his eyes remembering his final moments with his soulmate and tried to engrave them into his memory…because who was he kidding?

He probably was never going to see Steve again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost divided this chapter in two but thought it’d be more fun to leave off with this angsty cliffhanger


	8. Sweet Dreams

Steve opened his eyes and he was so shocked by the fact that he actually opened his physical eyes that he just stared blankly at the ceiling for several long moments.

Sensations from the bed beneath him and the cool breeze from the window made his skin pimple.

He couldn’t remember the last time his skin pimpled.

He sat up in the foreign room and then pinched himself.

The feeling was sharp and painful.

He was awake.

How…How was this possible?

How was he alive?!

And…

_Tony_.

Where was Tony??

The baseball game was still playing and he glanced at the radio, an older one from his era. In fact, everything around him looked like it was from his era…

What was going on?

His head snapped back to the radio as he heard a familiar play and, as he listened, he realized it was so familiar because he’d seen that same game in the 40s.

What the hell?

Had he somehow gone back in time?

A young woman entered the room with a calming smile and she greeted him.

Behind that calm smile however, Steve saw eyes of steel and tense muscles.

She told him he was in New York to which he countered, “Where am I really?”

He saw her eyes widen in fear and his suspicions were confirmed.

With his heart accelerating, and his fear spiking from not knowing where Tony was, Steve got to his feet and hissed, “I’m going to ask you again. Where am I?” When she did not reply, he demanded, “Who are you??”

A team of armed men rushed into the room.

Steve clenched his fists. He wasn’t going to get any answers here and, by the looks of the room, they tried to fool him. These people were not likely going to want to let him go…so he was going to have to let himself out.

He incapacitated the men and was jumping out of the hole he created in the wall in less than thirty seconds.

The woman called after him, but Steve could already see the gentle rays of the sun in the distance.

Once outside, Steve kept running but his suspicions were confirmed.

He was home. It was New York but it was the New York he’d seen through Tony’s eyes.

He was in the twenty-first century.

Somehow, he was brought back. Maybe a mad scientist got a hold of his body and resurrected him or maybe someone in the 107th had preserved him until they could heal him.

He trailed to a stop in Times Square, marveling at the bright lights. Tony had once shown him how much it had changed in the dream world but it was so much more in person.

He only let the bright and moving billboards distract him for a second. He then spun around, looking for a hint of Stark Tower. He knew it was in Manhattan but he and Tony never really discussed exact coordinates. They never had a reason to.

Black SUVs surrounded him and people got out waiving off the crowd.

They did not come at him like they had when he first woke so he did not immediately run. He also did not run because of the mere fact that he could not he see Stark Tower. He had no idea who these people were but, they were the reason he was here and, if they were friendly, maybe they’d point him in the right direction. Otherwise, he’d throw them through some more walls and run around the city until he found it on his own.

A man with a black eye patch and trench coat distanced himself from the others and called out, “At ease, soldier!” He walked up to Steve and said, “Look I’m sorry about that little show back there-.”

“Is this the 21st century?” Steve interrupted him, needing to affirm the truth.

The man’s one eye widened and, after a long pause, asked, “How did you-?”

Steve shook his head and said, “It’s a long story on my part and probably an equally long one on yours how I ended up here. I just need to know two things.” Steve bit his lip nervously and asked the most frightening, “Is this – me being awake…is it temporary?”

“No, Cap. You’ve been asleep for a very long time and won’t be going back to sleep like that again anytime soon unless you feel like taking another arctic nap. You’ve been frozen for over 70 years.”

Steve had to swallow down his exclamation of joy. He was alive! He was alive and in the same era as his soulmate!! Barely, holding back his smile, Steve asked, “Where can I find Tony Stark’s Tower?”

“Ok, how in the hell-!?”

“Soulmates,” Steve explained with a smirk. “And if I’ve been unconscious and frozen away…that explains a lot about how I was able to dream with Tony…but that doesn’t matter right now. What matters is that I get to him.”

If he was awake and in New York that meant Tony was somewhere nearby. 

Awake or asleep, Tony would have experienced the sudden, voiding darkness of Steve’s awakened departure.

Steve had grown used to it the last few decades but Tony…Tony had never experienced it before.

And he thought Steve was dead so this sudden departure had to be traumatizing. Tony probably assumed he was gone for good.

Steve had to return to his soulmate to spare him any more unnecessary pain.

“Well, tell you what, I’ll give him a call right now and you can ask him to pick you up,” the man said, pulling out his phone.

Steve inhaled sharply and watched with abated breath as he tapped at his phone and brought it to his ear. 

A few seconds passed and then the man opposite him rolled his eye and hung up. He explained, “Our consultant is selective on his phone calls.”

“You’re Fury, aren’t you?” Steve asked, slightly amused.

Tony spoke of him in the dreams, the eyepatch and demeanor fit. Fury didn’t call Tony. Tony called him.

“Correct,” Fury grumbled. He slipped his phone back onto his pocket and crossed his arms as he regarded Steve.

Steve felt jittery. He needed to go to Tony and Fury must’ve noticed as he said, “You want to go right to him?”

Steve nodded and gasped, “Yes!”

“Well, if Stark won’t come to us, we’ll go to him,” Fury said, smirking slightly.

—

Tony had curled up into a ball on the bathroom floor. He kept his eyes open, not wanting to close them and remember the darkness.

He stared at the tile under his counter and the blemishes he’d never seen in it before.

Without his direction, Jarvis contacted Pepper and it was there Pepper found him.

She gently crooned something to him and helped him sit up. She just as gently took the bottle of sleeping pills out of his clutch and put them on the counter.

Tony never took one. He was too much of a coward.

Pepper helped prop him to his feet and led him into the living room where she deposited him on the couch. She knelt before him and cupped his face.

“Did something happen to Steve?”

Tony’s entire face contorted at the sound of his name and he dropped his head to hide the newest onslaught of tears.

Pepper pulled him into her embrace and whispered, “Oh, Tony…”

He leaned heavily into her and tried to take comfort from her nearness but…but all he could think about was Steve.

Oh, God, Steve.

Eventually, Pepper stood and murmured, “I’m going to make some coffee and then we’ll do whatever it is you’re up for, okay?”

Coffee sounded amazing. Beyond that though…Tony did not know how to function.

His soulmate was dead and gone for good this time.

What was he supposed to do now?

“Sir, Director Fury is calling your direct line,” Jarvis stated. “Shall I take a message?”

Tony did not reply. He did lean back into the couch and grabbed one of the pillows to clutch to his chest.

He was already craving Steve’s embrace, the feel of his weight in his arms. Tony’s arms tightened around the pillow, a pale stand-in for his soulmate…

Jarvis said nothing more so Fury must’ve been sent straight to voicemail. Tony already forgot about him as he wallowed in his memories.

He didn’t care what kind of consultant work or what national travesty had happened because Tony’s very world ended today.

Steve was gone.

He pressed his face in the pillow to muffle the scream.

The love of his life was gone and Tony was left with nothing.

He didn’t even have a grave to mourn.

He didn’t even have a recent photo…

Just the memories they shared in their dreams.

It wasn’t fair!

How come they’d been allowed to dream with each other all of these years and now…now nothing. Steve was ripped from him without any warning.

And Tony was going to be alone in both the real world and in his dreams.

Just thinking of dreaming of the darkness turned his stomach.

Pepper returned to his side with a mug of coffee. He accepted the mug and peered down at the dark liquid. He remembered telling Steve how he wasn’t a morning person because his spirit lingered with him until he drank a cup of coffee…

He wasn’t ready to let him go.

Tony closed his eyes and he could imagine Steve by his side again.

Tony shakily put the mug on the coffee table.

“Is something wrong with the coffee?” Pepper gently murmured.

“No, Pep,” Tony whispered. He reached over and grasped her hand and gratefully stated, “It’s perfect…I just don’t think I can stomach it right now.”

“Can I make you something else? Or I can order something from the café? What can I do for you, Tony?”

He shook his head and murmured, “You don’t have to do anything more, Pep…”

He just wanted to lay back on the couch and pretend…pretend Steve was still there, they were snuggling again and Tony was sharing another aspect of his life with his soulmate just like he did every night and all the nights to come. He just wanted to pretend Steve would not fade from his memories just like the images of his father had.

No, he would hold onto Steve’s image in his mind’s eye even if it cost him his sanity. Tony closed his eyes and pictured Steve as he had last saw him, laid out beside him with a content, loving smile.

“Sir, SHIELD is requesting to land a quinjet on your personal balcony,” Jarvis announced.

Tony’s eyes shot open and his image of Steve was gone.

Pepper sat up sharply and gasped, “What!? Did they give a reason why?”

“No, they will not elaborate as well. Fury says we should have answered the call,” Jarvis stated. “They’re landing, Ma’am.”

“Unbelievable,” Pepper hissed, getting to her feet. She stomped over to the window and looked up to the level above where the balcony jutted out. She demanded, “Is Phil there?”

Tony’s heart felt too heavy to even to attempt to follow her.

What on earth was SHIELD doing?

And why did they have to do it today of all days?

“The quinjet is shutting down its engines and a man had departed the vehicle,” Jarvis continued. “He states…”

The AI paused.

The action made Tony sit up a little. What’d this SHIELD agent do to make his AI pause?

“Sir, Captain Rogers is here.”

Tony picked up his head and lifted his wet eyes from his hands.

He must have misheard Jarvis.

But Pepper even paused in walking toward the stairs and she asked, “_Who_, Jarvis?”

“Captain Rogers,” the AI repeated. “He is alive, Sir. He is on your private balcony now.”

Tony couldn’t believe it. He’d obviously cracked from the pressure of losing his soulmate but he scrambled to his feet either way and ran past Pepper.

“_Jarvis_,” Pepper hissed. “This is the worst time to develop a sadistic sense of humor!”

“It is really him, Miss Potts. I scanned his facial features and compared him to the ones in the national database.”

“But how??”

Tony’s heart was pounding madly against his chest and his feet slammed just as quickly against the stairs. He slid a few times on the slick, metal stairs but never lost his momentum as he bound up the staircase in record time.

He only lost the momentum when he was able to see the balcony through the glass and…and then see him.

Steve Fricken Rogers.

Tony stopped and stared at him in disbelief. Maybe he really did crack and was out of his mind with grief.

But if this warped reality had Steve in it then Tony did not mind how insane he was.

Steve seemed to have spotted him at the same time and face contorted with emotion and a wobbling smile spread across his face. Steve was still outside but he quickly opened the glass doors to the balcony and rushed forward, wetly gasping, “_Tony_.”

Tony scrambled up a few more steps but Steve met him halfway and practically scooped Tony up into his warm embrace and Tony’s arms snapped around his back. The air was pushed out of Tony’s lungs from the impact and his heart shot up into his throat at feel of his solid, _real_ form.

Steve collapsed with him in his arms and then curled around him as they slid down a few stairs until they came to a stop. They pulled back enough just to peer at each other and Tony’s fingers dug a little deeper when he met his soulmate’s eyes.

“Is this real?” Tony ran his fingers over Steve’s solid form and gasped, “Are you really here?”

“It’s real,” Steve whispered in assurance. He took one of Tony’s hands and placed it over Steve’s chest, above his heart. Tony could feel the warmth of Steve’s body, the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and the strong pulse of his heartbeat. These small details were never there in the dream world unless one of them focused on it.

Steve ran his hand through Tony’s hair slowly and cautiously, as if he were afraid he’d break. Tony slowly wound his arms around him and then Steve lightly kissed his forehead and whispered with awe, “I’m here. I’m actually here.”

Tony raised his gaze and met his super soldier’s eyes. Everything in Steve’s expression was open with his love but his facial features were also clearer than he’d ever seen before. He ran his thumb over a freckle on Steve’s cheek that he’d never seen before and, for the first time, felt the stubble on his face.

He was really here.

“Like a dream come true,” Tony said with a smile, his vision growing blurry.

Steve shook his head and murmured, “It’s even better than a dream. It’s real.”

He kissed Tony and whatever doubts he was feeling vanished with the way his soulmate kissed him. It was innately Steve but also so much more. Tony kissed back wound his arms behind Steve’s head and kissing him as hard and deeply as he could to show the man the true depth of his emotion.

He really was there in his arms and…they had to breathe in the real world for one thing.

They broke their kiss, gasping for breath, and, just as it was caught, they both dived back in and smothered each other with another.

He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry first. He thought he’d lost his soulmate forever but now he was here, in the flesh! How was this possible??

Tony broke the kiss and gasped, “Please tell me this isn’t temporary. That you’ll be gone by midnight because how else did you get here and without aging!”

Steve shook his head and murmured, “I have no idea how this happened but, I swear to you, there isn’t a force in heaven or earth that would be able to separate us now here or in our dreams.”

Tony dug his fingers into Steve’s arms and believed him and those unwavering eyes.

This was going to be permanent.

Tony gasped, “You’re going to stay. Here. Forever.”

Steve nodded and cradled Tony’s face for a second before leaning down and kissing him again.

This time it was much more gentler, a promise of the sweet times to come.

“Damn, Cap wasn’t kidding when he said you were his soulmate,” Fury said from the top of the stair, walking in like he owned the place.

“I take it we have you to thank for this,” Pepper wetly laughed. Tony did not wholly let go of Steve but he did turn to his friend. She must’ve followed him up the stairs as she was right there and was smiling at the both of them with tears in her eyes.

Upon Steve’s appearance, he’d completely forgotten she was here. He sheepishly grinned at her but she did not seem to take offense.

She wiped away those tears and beamed at the both of them with a happy smile. She gasped, “Tony…you found your soulmate.”

Tony looked back to Steve and replied, “No…he’s always been there in my dreams. He just finally came home.”

Steve was crying but they were happy tears. Upon Tony’s declaration, the smile he was wearing grew wider and he cupped Tony’s cheek and agreed, “I am home.”

They kissed again, this time it tasted salty from their tears and they broke apart with Tony chuckling, “We’re a mess.” Tony looked to Pepper and said, “Pep, I’d like to introduce you to my mess.”

Steve snorted noisily and nestled his head against Tony’s.

Pepper smiled widely and laughed, “It’s nice to meet you, Steve.”

Steve gave Tony a squeeze and earnestly replied to Pepper, “It is nice to finally meet you too.”

“And I guess no introductions are needed for Eyepatch,” Tony mumbled, nodding to the SHIELD Director still standing at the top of the stairs lording above them all. 

Fury shook his head and murmured, “Of course you found yourself mated Captain America, Stark. Go big or go home.”

“Not that I don’t love our little visits,” Tony drawled. “But, by your presence, I take it you’re here because of Steve?”

Fury crossed his arms and nodded, “That is correct.”

“You’re the reason he’s here?” Tony haltingly confirmed, “He…he’s here to stay, right?”

Steve ran a hand over his back and Fury replied, “Yeah, you can have him.” To Steve, Fury said, “But, once the honeymoon phase is over. Come by SHIELD, you could still help your country.”

“Steve’s not joining your boy band, Eyepatch!” Tony said, pulling his soulmate up to his feet. “Honeymoon phase is starting, Fury, see you in another three years!”

Tony pulled Steve down the stairs and past Pepper who watched them past with a proud, happy smile.

Fury rolled his eye and shook his head, but he was smiling. Tony usually would’ve jumped on him and teased him about showing the positive emotion…if Steve wasn’t there, alive, awake, and going nowhere.

His bedroom was not too far away and, as soon as he pulled Steve into the room, Steve pulled back and drew Tony back to his embrace and warm kiss.

Tony practically melted into Steve and his legs became weak.

Forever! This was forever! His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest.

Tony broke their kiss to look at his soulmate again, so real and warm and alive.

He ran his fingers through Steve’s hair and Steve wound his arms around Tony and pressed his forehead to his.

Tony gasped, “This just…it just feels too fantastical to be real.”

Steve smiled at him and pressed closer to him so his chest was against Tony’s. Their hearts beat erratically against each other’s, another thing he never noticed in the dream world but he kept noticing it now and could not get enough of it.

With a warm, loving voice, Steve reminded him, “I’m here now and forever, love. I’m here to stay day and night. I’m here.”


	9. Wide Awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for the two week hiatus but I’m back and finishing this puppy up! 
> 
> This is more of a prologue as I wanted to explore how Tony would handle trying to sleep now that he’d have to face the darkness whenever Steve woke and, of course, I did not go easy on the guy :)

Tony sat up sharply, gasping for breath, and fearfully reaching to side to make sure…

“Tony?” Steve sleepily murmured in response to his worried touch. He held the hand Tony had grasped him with and asked, “What’s wrong?”

The glow from Tony’s reactor illuminated Steve’s form and Tony sunk into his soulmate’s side with a relieved sigh.

Tony inhaled Steve’s musk deeply, still getting used to the new scent but treasuring it all the same.

It was the first night they went to bed together…Not that they immediately went to bed. They had a lot of firsts to celebrate after all.

They even shared their first “real” kiss today too.

After SHIELD and Pepper had left, they even made love for the first time in the bedroom, and then the kitchen, and then the living room…

So, of course, when they’re about to go to bed they had to make love one more time and then promptly collapsed with exhaustion.

Tony must’ve fallen asleep first because the dream world was just darkness and it scared him awake.

Tony whispered to Steve, “I fell asleep and you weren’t there…”

Steve ran his fingers through Tony’s hair and murmured, “Probably because I hadn’t fallen asleep yet.”

“I know,” Tony moaned but snuggled closer to his soulmate to find more comfort.

“Tell you what,” Steve murmured into his hair. “How about I fall asleep first so, when you fall asleep, it’ll be just like old times.”

“Yes, please,” Tony groaned. The idea of falling asleep to darkness was still unsettling to him. It felt like a lifetime ago but it was only that morning he was scared awake by experiencing the darkness for the first time. He had thought Steve was dead and the old fear lingered.

Steve hummed in agreement and let out a small, tired sigh as he settled down for sleep again. Tony’s adrenaline was still up from being shocked awake but he did try to relax too. He shifted his head over Steve’s chest to better hear his steady heartbeat and feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

He loved this. Loved falling asleep in Steve’s arms. It was the most content feeling he’d ever experienced. But what he loved more was the fact that this would continue every night from now on.

Steve’s breathing had evened out and Tony took it as a sign that he’d fallen asleep and was waiting for him in their dreams. Tony smiled and willed his body to do the same.

He drifted into his dreams, slipping out of his love’s warm embrace and right back into his familiar open arms in the dream world.

—

Steve was the first to wake, making Tony be immersed in darkness again.

He woke up with a strangled scream in this throat and his hands clawing for Steve.

“Hey,” Steve softly intoned, grasped one of his hands. He chuckled, “Good morning to you! Is this how you normally wake? I thought you were a grouch and not about to jump out of the bed!”

Tony settled against his soulmate with a relieved sigh and explained, “Usually, no. It’s just the darkness…” Tony shivered at the memory of it. “It’s still so shocking to me. I’m still not used to sleeping with it…”

Steve’s mouth quirked into a small smile and he whispered, “It’ll come with time. The alternative would be me still being frozen so this is definitely an improvement.”

He gently kissed Tony’s jawline and whatever fears the darkness had created disappeared.

Steve was right, this was 100% better.

Tony cupped his hands behind Steve’s shoulders and slowly dragged himself over Steve’s body until he was hovering over him. He’d never before seen a sleepy Steve and it was hot.

This was another first to share with Steve, their first morning together.

“You, my soulmate, have really cute bed hair,” Tony murmured and then started kissing Steve down his neck.

Steve ran one of his hands through Tony’s hair and chuckled, “So do you.”

Tony lifted his gaze and caught Steve’s eyes. His heart skipped a beat.

He didn’t think he was ever going to get used to waking up to this.

“Come here you,” Tony commanded and grasped his jaw for a deep kiss. Steve sunk into the bed with a happy moan and threw his heavy arms over Tony, digging them both in deeper.

The darkness was the last thing on his mind now and he felt around the bed for the bottle of lube…and felt…and felt. Eventually, he broke their kiss with a groan and sat up, asking, “Where’d we put it?”

“Hmm?” Steve hummed, stretching contently. Tony was momentarily distracted by the flex of muscle.

“This ain’t the dream world, babe,” Tony explained with a smirk. “I can’t magic lube to my hand…”

Steve chuckled and sat up with Tony to help search the sheets of the expansive bed. “Help” being the operative word. The man leaned into Tony’s side the entire time and spent most of it stealing kisses.

Ugh, he loved this man.

It was so distracting Tony eventually paused in his search to throughly kiss Steve enough that he’d stop distracting him. He left the super soldier a gooey mess slumped on the other side of the bed, watching Tony with a happy smile. It was hard not to stare back but other things were distractingly much more harder at the moment.

“It’s our first morning together,” Steve observed, running one of his feet over Tony’s thigh.

Tony found the bottle and held it up victoriously to Steve. He crawled over to him and agreed, “That it is.”

He lay on top of him and Steve’s arms folded around him as he murmured, “I’ve fantasized about this morning for years. So many years…” Steve’s fingers lightly caressed the skin of his back and he whispered, “Now here I am, it’s morning, we’re both awake, and I’m in your bed.”

“With a horny old man,” Tony teased, popping open the bottle of lube, making Steve chuckle.

Tony smiled happily at Steve and Steve smiled back. They both leaned forward and shared a needed kiss, pouring all their joy and love into it.

They ended up needing to gasp for breath again, still getting used to the concept of needing to breathe while kissing. They shared a chuckle and Tony took that moment to slick up his fingers. Steve nodded and lay back. Tony leaned over him and peppered him with kisses as he prepped him, another task that took longer in the real world, but neither really noticed as they worshipped each other.

And then they were making love. Their bodies writhed and slid against each other in a fever. Tony clutched Steve’s hands and he promised him the world as he was filled with ecstasy. Eventually, his thrusts came to an abrupt stop as he came and Steve soon followed.

He felt spent but still managed to crawl next to his soulmate and let Steve put him into his chest and spoon him. Tony rested his head on Steve’s bicep and closed his eyes for just a second.

Darkness.

Void of everything, but most importantly, void of Steve.

Tony woke with a sharp gasp and grabbed the arm that was his pillow.

“Tony?” Steve murmured in question.

Tony turned to Steve, his heart still racing, and felt immediate relief when he saw his soulmate.

Steve was alive. 

“I’m fine,” he assured Steve and himself. He pressed his face against Steve’s chest and felt Steve’s heart beating against his cheek. Tony whispered more to himself, “Everything is fine…”

—

Tony had convinced himself everything was fine. He went to sleep okay later that night…but that was because Steve fell asleep first.

When Steve also woke up first the next morning, Tony was thrown back into the darkness and he was alone again. Terror from losing Steve spurned him to wakefulness and he sat up sharply, reaching out with a sharp exclamation.

“Tony??” Steve gasped with concern, sitting up beside him. Tony collapsed into Steve’s side, gasping shallowly to catch his breath. Steve wrapped his arms around him and asked, “Tony, love, what’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” he assured Steve, feeling shamed for worrying Steve so.

He sat up straighter and gave Steve a half hug and flashed him a cocky smile, but no matter how cockily he smiled, he couldn’t hide the way he continued to tremble.

He squeezed Steve’s side and repeated, “I’m fine.”

Steve did not look convinced but he did not push the matter. He gently rubbed Tony’s back and murmured, “Okay…If you’re really…”

Tony silenced him with a kiss and then pressed, “I’m fine, more so since you’re here…”

Steve was looking deeply into his eyes and gently ran his thumb over his cheek. He broke the eye contact with a sigh and enfolded him to his core within his limbs. Tony nestled into his embrace and, in the warmth of Steve’s arms, felt like his heart would finally slow down.

Steve would always be there, here in the real world and in his dreams.

He just didn’t seem to remember that in the darkness.

Tony squeezed Steve a little tighter and inhaled his unique scent, solidifying the man in his mind. He just needed to keep reminding himself of that he was here to stay and eventually he should be able to stomach the darkness.

—

Later that night, when Tony woke with a muffled scream, he was met Steve’s cross gaze.

Steve cupped his jaw and stated, “This is not something to brush off.”

Tony flushed and looked away as he murmured, “It…It’s stupid.”

“What?”

Tony sighed heavily and returned his gaze to Steve’s. He’d told and shared everything with Steve over the years. He watched Tony grow up and knew everything about him. It just felt…more vulnerable though, sharing this. Maybe it was because it was being spoken aloud in the real world?

Real or dream world, he had no reason to keep this from Steve.

He put a hand over Steve’s hand and explained, “It…It’s just the darkness. Whenever I’m in it…I’m just thrown back into that moment, when I first experienced it and you-you were dead or, at least, I thought you were…” Tony grasped his arms, the remnants of the darkness still making him scared of losing him.

“Oh, love…” Steve whispered.

Tony shook his head and murmured, “Told you it was stupid…”

“No, it was traumatic and you’re still healing,” Steve pressed, drawing Tony into a tighter embrace. Tony nestled his head under Steve’s chin and Steve continued, “I can’t control when I leave the dream world but we can control when I enter it. We can have me fall asleep first until you get used to the darkness.”

“…You wouldn’t mind?” Tony asked, feeling like a confused teen again.

“Of course not, more sleep for me!” Steve joked, drawing a small smile to Tony’s lips.

He picked up his head and his super soldier smiled sweetly at him. Tony leaned in and kissed Steve gently.

Any unease he had been feeling melted away and Tony felt as if his life was finally solidifying. Waking up with Steve had been astonishing the last few days and almost felt too good to be real. But, at that moment, he felt secure in Steve’s arms. He was there to stay. His soulmate was going to wake up with him tomorrow and all the days to come.

Tony wasn’t certain how he was going to react to the darkness in the coming days, but he knew he was going to wake up with Steve at his side and a kiss on his lips.

—

The first week was spent mostly in bed.

Making love in the real world felt so much more better and amazing and they couldn’t get enough of each other.

They eventually went out and did small things like take a drive in one of Tony’s fast cars or Tony took him out to try the new foods that came out since he’d been frozen.

They’d always end up snuggled together at the end of the night and Steve would fall asleep first and then would wait for his soulmate appear in their dreams.

It was all terribly domestic and Steve absolutely loved it.

Especially when he woke and then turned to the man in his bed and still feel as fulfilled as he had the first time he woke.

But then the Avengers were called to assemble when Loki of Asgard started to threaten the planet with invasion.

At first, Steve approached the situation eagerly. This was the first time he’d be able to fight with Tony. He no longer had to wait in their dreams and worry.

He could do something to help now that he was awake.

Until he couldn’t…

New York was being devastated by the Chitauri and the council elected to destroy the city with a nuclear missile to save the rest of the planet.

But Tony had other plans.

“I’ve got a nuke coming in and I know just where to put it.”

Steve looked from his soulmate’s flight path and then the portal and felt his stomach drop.

Even in the real world, he seemed unable to help Tony.

“Tony…you know that’s a one way trip,” Steve whispered.

“I know, but if I don’t divert this everyone in the city will be dead,” Tony reasoned. “Steve, I’m…I’m sorry. I…I love you, beloved.”

With his heartbreaking and his legs feeling weak, Steve swallowed down his scream of frustration. With a trembling voice, he whispered, “I love you too, love…”

“Our luck sucks doesn’t it?” Tony ironically asked.

Steve shook his head and murmured, “I’m the luckiest man out there. I was given the most amazing soulmate…”

He wanted to beg Tony to delay, to keep him, even if it was for a few seconds more.

Tony was nearing the entrance to the portal and Tony gasped, “Steve -.”

Whatever else he was going to say was cut off and Steve shouted something indiscriminate. He stared at the portal and gasped into the com, “Tony? Tony, can you hear me??”

When there was no response, Steve dropped his head.

God, not Tony.

His weak legs slowly collapsed beneath him and he sunk to his knees, his eyes never leaving the portal…but Tony never appeared.

Within the portal, the nuclear blast went off, destroying the ship within and the Chitauri on Earth fell all around them.

The blast was expanding and it’d soon be coming out of the portal. They needed to shut it before Tony’s sacrifice was all for nothing.

Steve waited still, hoping against all the odds his soulmate would appear.

“Cap?” Natasha asked nervously over the coms.

Steve dropped his head and choked, “Cl-Close it.”

Natasha needed no more encouragement and he heard the screech from the scepter as it broke through the shield and destroy the mechanism holding open the portal.

Steve kept his head lowered until he heard Thor inhale sharply and his head snapped up, his heart already racing with scared hope.

A body was falling from the now sealed portal. It took him only seconds to recognize Tony’s suit.

“Tony!?” Steve exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

“He’s not slowing down,” Thor observed and swung his hammer but, before he could leap, the Hulk caught Tony and crashed to the ground.

Steve and Thor ran to them as Hulk tossed Tony to the ground. His heart felt like it was lodged in his throat, watching the way his soulmate’s body flopped.

Thor ripped off the golden plated face shield, revealing Tony’s closed eyes.

Steve hovered over him, checking to see if he was breathing and worriedly touching his chest.

“Tony?” Steve gasped, cupping his face. His soulmate did not respond to his touch or voice. Steve felt like the world was falling around him.

Hulk roared and Tony’s eyes snapped open and immediately focused on Steve.

“Beloved?” Tony gasped, breathing like he was out of breath.

With his face pinching to hold back his tears, Steve swooped down and pressed a quick, hard kiss against his mouth. He didn’t prolong the kiss to let Tony breath but he did embrace him tightly.

“I thought I lost you,” Steve gasped into Tony’s shoulder.

Tony clutched Steve tightly and gasped, “I’m here, beloved…I’m here.”

—

Later that night, in the ruins of the Tower, Tony snapped the sheets to their bed, trying to get off the debris that had settled there. He already patched up the hole in the ceiling but the building was going to need a lot more tender, loving care to get back to her former glory.

The electricity was not working so he was wearing one of his thin shirts to be able to work with light of his arc reactor.

Steve came in a moment later with a handful of blankets under one arm and a flashlight in the other hand. No electricity meant no heater and it was going to get cold tonight.

Steve smiled at him with glistening eyes and immediately went to his side and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. Tony automatically leaned into him and Steve tucked his face into his neck and draped his arm around him. Tony sighed contently and felt his body relax. He’d been on edge ever since escaping the void.

The portal, the endless expanse of space, and the knowledge of never returning to Earth…to Steve.

Tony shivered.

Steve moved back and draped a blanket over Tony. He rubbed his arms and murmured, “Ready to go to bed?”

“Yeah,” Tony hoarse replied, his throat dry.

Steve rubbed his arms one more time and then moved his hand to the small of Tony’s back and maneuvered him toward the bed.

Tony stared blankly at the mattress while Steve undressed himself. Steve paused when he saw Tony not do the same and then immediately returned to his side.

Steve gently grasped his chin and turned Tony’s heard toward him. Steve’s bright blue eyes searched his and he finally murmured, “You’re in shock still.”

“…Sorry,” Tony whispered, dropping his head. He just couldn’t stop thinking about the portal. He half felt like he was still there.

Steve rubbed his arms and whispered, “There is nothing to be sorry about. You went through an ordeal…we all did. Hell, I’m probably a little bit I’m shock too, that’s why I can’t stop touching you…I need to assure myself you’re here...”

Tony picked up his head and saw the fear in Steve’s eyes.

Steve squeezed Tony’s arms and then murmured, “Let me help you out of those clothes and we can snuggle up and get warm in the bed. Then maybe in the dream world we can imagine somewhere nice to go, maybe that tropical beach you went to in the second year of college?”

Tony snorted, drawing a small smile to Steve’s lips. Tony monotoned, “There’s no way we’d go to that cheap imitation of paradise where kids only go to act stupid and get drunk. I can imagine a nice island in the Caribbean where we can lounge on a beach clear of broken glass and beer cans.”

“Sounds nice,” Steve chuckled, pulling up on the bottom of Tony shirt. Tony lifted his arms to let the super soldier pull it off and the blanket fell from his shoulders. The light from his reactor grew brighter, bathing Steve in blue.

Steve unbuttoned Tony’s jeans next and Tony presses his face into Steve’s shoulder as it was conveniently there. He then kissed it and then pressed another kiss closer to his neck and then another actually on his neck. His pants dropped and Steve put his hands on his hips and pulled their bodies closer together. Steve also kissed Tony’s neck and then they lifted their heads and looked at each other. This was the first time they were alone since the Battle of New York. The fact that they both nearly died seemed to occur them both in that moment because both of them surged toward the other and they met in a needy, desperate kiss.

They stumbled to the bed and kicked off their underwear. They frantically kissed and rubbed against each other, like they could be brought back to the battle any second.

Tony just thought of being back in the void again and he nearly whined at the thought. He grasped both his and Steve’s cocks and rubbed them together, frantic for the release he thought he had lost. Steve rutted his hips forward, greedily encouraging the touch.

They came quickly and collapsed into the mattress, gasping for breath. Tony curled himself against Steve’s chest and pressed his ear to his chest. Steve’s heart was beating quickly but the fact that Tony could hear it still brought him ease. It had since Steve joined him in the real world and he could actually hear and feel it beat.

“Love you, love,” Steve whispered, running his hand through Tony’s hair. Tony nuzzle his head deeper into Steve’s grip and lay his head on Steve’s bicep.

He looked up to Steve and murmured, “I love you too, beloved.”

Steve turned and lay himself over Tony. Tony grunted from the weight but Steve sighed contently, “I’m never going to let you go again…”

Steve’s weight became less noticeable with that statement and Tony wound his arms around Steve, his hands interlocking in the center of Steve’s back, and whispered, “Please, don’t.”

A content silence fell between them.

They both were filthy from their come but were exhausted from the long day and battle. Tony could so easily fall asleep at that moment. Everything was back to normal. He was on Earth, no where near that portal, and Steve was in his arms. His eyelids were heavy and already struggling to stay open.

Steve noticed and gently tapped Tony’s shoulder and murmured, “Hey, you’re falling asleep before me. Stay awake.”

With his eyes still half open, Tony considered his soulmate’s words and the fear he usually felt did not come. He rolled it over in his mind and then lightly caressed his fingertips over Steve’s back in a few strokes as he considered his words.

“What if… I try going to sleep first?” Tony murmured. Steve’s eyebrow shot up nearly to his hairline and Tony hesitantly explained, “I was in the darkness when I was falling out of the sky and…and I wasn’t afraid.” He gripped Steve tighter and, even though he was staring at his beloved, all he could see was the void of space. He said, “The darkness of the dream world compares nothing to the vast emptiness of space…when I entered that portal, I knew if it closed behind me I’d…I’d never see you again.” He met Steve’s eyes and he was brought back to Earth. His muscles relaxed and he whispered, “In the darkness of the dream world, I at least know you are coming and I won’t be alone.”

It was his biggest fear to be alone.

Steve cupped his cheek and his eyes grew shiny as stared into Tony’s eyes. He promised, “I will always be there for you. Here or the dream world, love…”

Tony smiled at his and nuzzled back into Steve’s hold. He closed his eyes and whispered, “See you in my dreams?”

Steve kisses his forehead and whispered, “Yes, sweet dreams, love.”

Relaxed and happy in Steve’s hold, Tony fell asleep quickly.

The darkness was immediate and that edge of fear was still there, but it was overwritten with the knowledge that he had survived the impossible and his soulmate would be there soon.

Steve when entered the dream, the world itself seemed to explode from the super soldier’s very body and then settle into the landscape of their favorite balcony in Malibu.

Steve smiled brightly at him and said, “You didn’t wake.”

Tony smirked at Steve and grasped his hand, agreeing, “No, I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going on a hiatus again as I decide what to post next! I want to do another Soulmate AU but I’m between doing another Stony or diving into some Spideypool....we'll see which ship prevails :D
> 
> As always, thank you for reading! Till next time! :)


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